


Reinventing Destiny

by fade2red, shepweirfan



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Big Bang Challenge, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-16
Updated: 2010-09-16
Packaged: 2017-10-22 21:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 41,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/242533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fade2red/pseuds/fade2red, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shepweirfan/pseuds/shepweirfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After stepping through the Stargate in Fran's body,(Ghost in the Machine) Elizabeth Ascends once again. She follows Atlantis to Earth and after making contact with John they devise a plan to make her human again. There's an ancient device that can clone Elizabeth's body and put her consciousness back in it. The catch it's back in the Pegasus Galaxy. After the transfer is complete everything is fine until Elizabeth's new body begins breaking down. Then the race is on for John and the others to find a gene therapy treatment that can save her. One of Michael's labs holds the key. Will the data be retrieved and Elizabeth saved? Do they live happily ever after?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a coauthored work. Shepweirfan's lj pseud is seramercury if you wish to find more of her work there. All of fade2red's work is posted on AO3. Many thanks to our betas justmalea and hihoplastic and also to krisrussel for the read through and suggestion. We heart you all!
> 
> Art by

##    
_It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. _  
~William Shakespeare__   


 

Space was cold. Even though she couldn't feel it, she knew she was surrounded by its vastness with no sight, no sound, nothing save the inevitable silence. There was no fate worse than being trapped in this shell of a body with nothing but her thoughts for company. Every choice, every mistake played out over and over again in her mind. Elizabeth believed oblivion would find her and after interminable days, or perhaps months, passed by, drifting in this borrowed body, she welcomed its icy grasp. Yet she was left to wait, to wait for an end that would not come.

The body didn't breakdown as she expected it to. Perhaps there were too many inorganic components or perhaps space wasn't as harsh as she remembered. Whatever it was, she found herself in her own private hell, unable to move or speak, torn between anger and longing.

After a time she bordered on madness, conflicting opinions warring within her own psyche. Should she Ascend again or not? Coul d she Ascend again or not? If she managed to separate her consciousness from her physical being once more, then what? She didn't have a home to go back to, did she?

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Elizabeth began her campaign to get John's attention almost immediately. For days she followed him wherever he went, attempting to focus her energy and make contact. The electrical systems around the city seemed sensitive to her presence. However, very little else seemed affected.

Weeks passed as she built up her strength, trying to gain enough energy to reach out and touch John or to manipulate objects in the environment. Several attempts bordered on success; she managed to gain control of a door here and move an object there. Once she even thought she'd succeeded in touching him, but his reaction was a quick frown and shake of his head. He seemed determined to ignore her attempts at contact. Whether that was conscious or unconscious on his part, she couldn't say.

She toyed with the idea of entering the city's systems again, using them to contact John. This time around she seemed to lack the focus to do more than short out circuits and lock up consoles. Just as well, Elizabeth wanted to not only get John's attention but to do it in a way that would convince him she was the one making contact. His skepticism almost did her in for good last time.

The frustration of her existence was maddening. Even when she wasn't trying to bridge the gap between her and John, she could not rest. There were too many reminders of her previous life in this place. Being in Atlantis was taking its toll. One moment she was comforted to see her friends healthy and happy, the next she was enraged that they had forgotten her so easily and gone about their lives. Would they even welcome her if she did get through to them?

She gave up, then redoubled her efforts. At times she felt her grip on reality slipping. Finally, she forced herself to back off, to take a few days to rest and meditate. Her mind definitely felt sharper afterward so she decided to try again. This time she was met with a measure of success and found she was a ble to manipulate a few small objects. Doing so left her feeling drained but triumphant. John would have to notice what she'd done, then it would be up to her to fill in the who and why for him.

**********  
John was thankful the SGC hadn't reassigned him; he had no other home as far as he was concerned. Lately, though, something about Atlantis didn't feel quite right. There had been energy spikes that defied explanation, equipment malfunctions, doors opening and closing at random. In fact, a few days ago the doors to his quarters jammed. He'd been on the verge of calling for help when they slid open abruptly.

Several times he'd felt like someone or something was watching him, yet when he would investigate the area, nothing out of the ordinary could be found. A few days ago in his room, he'd felt an odd sensation, like fingertips brushing the back of his neck. It was eerily familiar and unnerving, opening his mind to questions he didn't want answered.

Hi s first thought was that Earth's electromagnetic fields were interfering with the city's systems so he'd asked Rodney about it. The scientist had scoffed but grudgingly agreed to run some scan but ultimately found nothing.

John considered an alien technology of some sort might be at work but he was reluctant to bring that up without further proof. The last thing he needed was the brass up in arms, thinking he was paranoid. A quiet investigation of his own turned up nothing.

One encounter left him particularly shaken. He could have sworn someone was standing right next to him. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and the word "presence" came to mind. He shut that train of thought down quickly. Even if he believed in ghosts, which he didn't, he would be the last person to go chasing one down.

And then there were the dreams. He didn't know what triggered them, only they all revolved around her, Elizabeth Weir. For countless nights he dreamed of her or dering him to leave her behind, of finding her only to discover she was more machine than woman. He shuddered as he remember that particular dream. Elizabeth's eyes were cold and blank as she stood over his broken and bleeding body. Not that he didn't deserve it; he left her behind.

Worst still were the dreams where he saw her here in Atlantis. She would appear ahead of him in a corridor just out of reach. No matter how loudly he called to her, she would not respond. He would run after her only to turn a corner and find her gone. Each time the dream came, he would wake up in a cold sweat, the pain of losing her stabbing at him just as keenly as the day he left her to there to die.

He didn't want to believe she was dead, but how could she have survived? Even if she  _had_  survived Asuras, she was dead now. He had failed her utterly and completely.

John rubbed his eyes tiredly. He couldn't help but wonder if there was a connection between the weird thin gs he'd been experiencing and the dreams. Could there still be something of Elizabeth lingering here? No, he didn't think so, it was most likely that it was his guilty conscience getting the better of him, the sins of his past coming back to haunt him. Whatever it was, it was making his sleep fitful and restless.

As John headed back to his quarters after a long away mission, he had that prickling feeling along his spine again. He could practically feel eyes on his back but when he turned quickly, no one was there. He double timed it to his quarters, checking over his shoulder now and again until he was through the door.  _I must be losing it,_  he thought as the doors slid shut behind him.

He immediately noticed something was off as the lights came up. His copy of  _War and Peace_  was lying open on the nightstand even though John had not touched it since... Not since they had sent Elizabeth out into space. Granted, it hadn't looked like her, but ther e was something about her, something behind her eyes he recognized, something that made him think it could have been her.

***********   
Elizabeth watched him move and it pained her to see how weary he wasâ€¦ how weary John always seemed these days. As unsettling as it was to see Atlantis on Earth, it was even more unsettling for her to see him, to hear him, but to be unable to reach out to him.

She knew following him this way was bordering on obsessive and she tried to refrain. Yet despite her intentions, she was always drawn back to him. She needed to find a way to reach out to him, only him, soon. There was no one else she trusted, no one else she believed would accept that she was Elizabeth Weir, as much as such a person still existed.

Ascending had been tricky, but DeAscending, for the moment, was impossible. She didn't have the know-how or strength to become flesh and blood again and that left her with limited options. She had spent some time in Jo hn's quarters rearranging things while he was gone, trying to find something, anything that would alert him to her presence. When she saw how he reacted to the open book, she realized that her efforts had at least gotten his attention. Forgetting herself for a moment she tried to reach out to touch his shoulder, to call his name, but instead she passed silently through him.

*********  
John shivered as if a small breeze drifted through the room. He knew that was impossible because the windows were shut but he had felt  _something_.

God, he was going crazy. That was it, it had to be. What other explanation was there for how he was feeling? There had been times over the past few weeks when he could swear he could feel her right beside him. A warm presence, a ghost of breath... once even a whiff of an all too familiar perfume.

Clearly his mind was playing tricks on him, his mind or his conscience. Had he made a mistake? Was it really Elizabeth who had visited Atlantis in FRAN's body? Only when it was too late did he admit to himself that the soul behind those eyes could have been hers.

If she had survived Asuras then he could have saved her! Instead, he chose to believe the lies, first from the Asurans that Elizabeth was dead and then the ones in his head. His heart had told him that it was her... Her spirit? Soul? Sighing, he shook his head. Maybe he really was cracking up. Maybe he just wanted to believe it was her because he hadn't really lived since they left her behind.

John hated to think it, but he was only kidding himself. Elizabeth was gone and she wasn't coming back, no matter how much he wanted her to.

He glanced down at the open book, passing a hand over its pages. It was then he realized that the pot he had given Elizabeth for her birthday was not in the same place but in fact right next to the book.

"Elizabeth..." he breathed. He never admitted it to anyone, but he missed her so m uch. Watching all his friends starting to "pair up," as Rodney so eloquently put it, made him realize how much he had truly cared for Elizabeth. He missed her smile, her laugh, waking up next to her, hell he even missed that look she gave him when he screwed up. He'd give anything to see it again.

**********

Elizabeth saw him touch the book and then she heard something she thought she would never hear again; her name but a whisper on his lips. Hope flooded through her. Was it possible that she had gotten through? She moved closer then stopped. The pain on John's features sent a stab of remorse through her. Could she do this? She couldn't stand to see him in such torment.

It surprised her a bit that in this state she could feel at all. Even more surprising was that the emotions were more raw, more visceral than ever before. Moving behind him she reached out again, imagining she could feel once more the soft strands of his hair through her fingers.  _I mis s you, too. I never meant to hurt you._  It was more thought than speech. She had to reach him, had to let him know she was okay, that none of this was his fault, and she may yet be whole again. She had to -- but how?

*************  
The hair on the back of his neck stood up. Something was going on but he wasn't sure what. For an instant it had felt like someone was playing with his hair, stroking the fine hairs at the nape of his neck just like Elizabeth used to do when they were alone and she was trying to reassure him that whatever shit storm they were in the middle of would pass.

He decided his mind must be playing tricks on him, maybe he just needed sleep. Maybe it was the fact that it was the anniversary of the day she was taken by the Asurans. Whatever it was, he had Elizabeth on his mind even more so than usual. God, he missed her.

John took off his boots, tossed his tactical vest over a chair, and laid down on the bed. For a long time he sta red at the ceiling, his mind wandering to thoughts of Elizabeth and happier times. As he drifted off he could almost feel her here beside him, just like before and he hoped that the thoughts would lead to better dreams.

***********  
Elizabeth watched as he flopped down on the bed. The way his shoulders sagged made her heart ache and if she could, she would weep. John heaped more responsibility and blame on those shoulders than truly belonged there.

Moving around the bed, she turned to go. She knew she should leave, but something drew her back. Imagining herself perched on the edge of the bed, she watched as sleep erased the lines of worry and grief from John's brow. He looked younger, lighter even, than she remembered from their previous life.

Elizabeth slid her hand over the covers, not really touching it, but remembering how it felt, remembering what it had been like to lie there at John's side. What she wouldn't give to feel his strong arms around he r right now, to feel his heart beating next to hers. She forced such thoughts away; it wasn't productive to focus on what most likely would never be. Instead, she concentrated on John and the steady, rhythmic breathing as he slept, the soft sighs as he dreamed.

The sight of him like that sparked so many memories. John waking her early with kisses, surprising her with breakfast in bed, his arms tight around her as their bodies cooled from welcome home love making. So many nights they'd spent here in this bed, laughing, loving, sharing their hopes and dreams.

Elizabeth remained at John's side through the night, fully intent on catching one last glimpse of him awake and then leaving, but when morning came she wasn't sure she had the heart to go. The soft light of dawn filtered into the room and John stirred. As his eyes fluttered open Elizabeth remained rooted to the spot watching as wakefulness overtook him.

When John woke up, he was surprised that he had act ually slept through the night without the usual nightmares. His eyes grudgingly opened before he was even fully awake and his heart jumped into his throat. For a split second he thought he saw her, Elizabeth, sitting on the edge of his bed. As quickly as the image came to him it faded, a fading remnant of a beautiful dream.

He again glanced over at the nightstand to see the book still lying open. He had wondered if he had imagined everything but apparently he hadn't. And now as he sat there, he could swear Atlantis was trying to whisper something to him. John chuckled, rubbing his forehead. "God, I must be going crazy or something!"


	3. Chapter 3

 

Elizabeth lost focus for a long time, lost and drifting within Atlantis' systems. When she came back to herself she was somewhere near the central computer core. For a while she remained there, mesmerized by the intricacies of the patterns and colors of the data streams as she glided in and out among them.

Suddenly, she remembered John and their conversation and she wondered if he was okay. Unsure of how much time had passed since they had spoken -- it could have been hours or days or minutes -- she slowly made her way back to his quarters. She had no intention of contacting him again, not just yet. No, she merely wanted to see if he was okay.

He wasn't home but with Atlantis's help it only took her a few moments to locate him. John was in Rodney's lab engaged in a heated discussion with the scientist.

The two men were talking about her. After a few moments of listening to the conversation, Elizabeth decided it was time to speak u p on her own behalf. She took over Rodney's tablet and typed out a simple message.   _Hello, Rodney. Still bickering with John I see. Guess somethings never change._

It took a few moments for Rodney to notice the message. When he did he glance down the look on his face was priceless. Rodney looked around and blinked. "Elizabeth?" He glared at John. "This better not be one of your practical jokes. If it is, it's not funny."

John shook his head. "No, it's no joke. Elizabeth is really here.

Naturally the scientist was skeptical at first but the more Elizabeth interacted with him the more convinced he became. After an hour of Rodney firing off questions and Elizabeth and John answering he came around. By the time John left the lab, Rodney was in full on scientist mode, scrolling through data and make suggestions aloud to Elizabeth long after she left the room.

The talk with Rodney left John tense yet hyper and decided a work out was in order.

Elizabeth caught up with with John just outside the gym and he felt a familiar presence nearby. Though he turned and saw no one, she could clearly see the tension in his shoulders. She knew John would push himself to the brink; she'd seen it happen before and somehow she got the feeling that in this case he would push himself even more. It was obvious he still cared for her as she did for him. She could not help but wonder if it were better for John to just let her go. John, however, still felt the stress of the whole situation but was hopeful that he would feel better after his meeting with Daniel later that day. It helped, somewhat, that Rodney at least tentatively believed him; maybe talking to Ronon would help too. The Satedan was a lot more perceptive than many people would think.

Ronon was in the middle of a workout and Elizabeth had to chuckle at the ferocity of the big guy. Even in a controlled situation, Ronon gave no quarter. It was comfort ing that some things never changed.

With Rodney on their side, Elizabeth wished there was more she could do to help. Perhaps she could. Perhaps if she focused enough, she could reveal herself in some way. She was uncertain as to how Ronon would react but she had to try.

"Hey big guy. Ready?"

"For what? Me to wipe the floor with you?"

"Haha," John replied. "Where'd you get your degree in comedy?"

"McKay."

"That explains a lot."

Instead of taking the bait, Ronon said, "I talked to him earlier."

"Let me guess, you think I'm going crazy too."

"No, I don't. Sheppard, if you say you've talked to Elizabeth through Atlantis, I gotta believe you."

John raised an eyebrow. "Not that I'm ungrateful, but why?"

"You've been honest with me from the minute I got here. Besides if anyone can figure out a way to get back to Atlantis it'd be her. She's connected to it. She's connected to you."

"Wow. That was kinda intense coming from you."

"I'm an intense kinda guy," Ronon grinned.

Relief surged through her. Ronon believed John! She should have known, Ronon was nothing if not loyal and, as he said, John had always been up front with him.

Still feeling the need to make her presence known, Elizabeth tentatively reached out to Atlantis. It took a lot of control, but she managed to make the lights in the gym flicker a few times.  _Thank you, Ronon,_  she said though she knew the chances of being heard were slim.

John smirked at Ronon's thoughtful look. "Yeah, that was probably her. She can only do so much. She's most likely thanking you."

"Anytime, Elizabeth," Ronon replied. "We miss having you around."

She passed by them both, grazing what used to be her fingertips along John's shoulder and Ronon's arm. That simple touch took a lot of willpower, but she believed John felt it.

It wasn't right for her to follow him constantly and as much as she wou ld like to stay in his presence, Elizabeth felt it best to leave John for the time being. He had enough on his mind without worrying if she was right behind him.

She was still uncertain as to whether she would accompany John to his meeting with Daniel. For now, she retreated to the balcony off the control room. It had been one of her favorite spots in her previous life, but now the view only brought turmoil, not the tranquility she was seeking. Instead, she decided to return to John's quarters where she would remain in restful meditation until he returned.

She also knew she would have to tell John. It wasn't fair to ask him to do this for her without knowing the whole story. He, better than most, would understand that nothing comes without a price. The meditation had helped renew her strength. Perhaps when they returned to Atlantis, she could speak to John again.

The next morning, John was heading to the SGC to have his talk with Daniel. Rodney joined him a nd since the scientist had found the device Elizabeth mentioned in the Atlantean database, he grudgingly agreed to have Sam Carter join them so they could discuss it.

Elizabeth was reluctant to leave Atlantis, but she wanted to be there for John. This wasn't easy for him and she hated putting him in such a predicament. He was nothing if not determined though; it was one of the things she loved most about him. So when he headed to the SGC with a reluctant Rodney in tow, she tagged along.

It was strange to be in the SGC again, stranger in some ways than Atlantis. The city had been her home from the moment she first stepped foot in it while the SGC had always felt foreign and alien.

John had to admit he was a bit nervous about all of this and hoped he didn't sound completely cracked. He watched the expression of the two doctors after he explained what was happening, wondering what was going through their minds.

"Honestly, John," Daniel said. "I don't rea lly know how I took human form. I think your best bet is going to be that device."

Sam nodded. "From what we can tell," she said, looking at the tablet Rodney brought, "as long as everything is up to par, it should be able to bring Elizabeth back. Of course, the Ascension machine Rodney accidentally activated had side effects so I'm not doubting this one will have some, as well."

"Yes, yes, of course!" Rodney replied. "Hence the reason we're discussing it with you two before requesting to go out to that planet."

John shook his head although he was quite pleased they were talking about what they could do to help Elizabeth rather than saying this was stupid and that he was crazy.

Elizabeth was heartened that everyone took John at his word. They'd all seen enough strange phenomena in their time that her plight wasn't too far fetched. At the mention of side effects, she hovered near Rodney. From the look on his face she knew he'd seen it, too -- the possi bilities, the risks. She had to find a way to get him to understand that she accepted them. It was worth any degree of risk to become her whole self again

 


	4. Chapter 4

John sighed as he got back to his quarters in Atlantis. Unfortunately since Daniel didn't remember his time as an ascended being, they had to rely on asking the SGC to give them permission to go back to Pegasus. Rodney and Sam had given their report about the potential the device could have. Now they had to wait to hear back from the brass and John was worried this wasn't going to happen because the expressions on the bigwig's faces didn't look very promising. John had to figure out Plan B just in case things didn't go the way he planned.

"Elizabeth," he said, taking a breath and closing his eyes. "I need you."

She stood behind him, imagining her hands resting on his shoulders, her fingers kneading away the tension.

 _I'm here,_  she replied, feeling a pang of sadness that he couldn't hear her. Reaching out through Atlantis she called to him, stronger, more sure of herself this time.  _John, I'm here._

John suddenly fe lt relaxed as he reached out to tap into Atlantis' systems, making sure she kept the conversation between the three of them.

 _Elizabeth..._

The sound of his voice surrounding her sent a jolt through her.  _Hey. Rough day huh?_  she asked, trying to keep things light between them.  _Even if nothing comes of this, John, I'm thankful you tried._

 _You could say that,_  he replied.  _If nothing comes of this from their end, I'm going to do it myself and I'll have a ton of people to back me up. Elizabeth, I... have to do this because if I know you're out there and that I could have at least attempted to save you... I..._

 _John -- don't -- you don't have to sacrifice your career over this._  She regretted bringing him this torment.  _As Rodney pointed out, there are risks to using the machine. Risks too great to make going rogue worthwhile. If the higher-ups support this, fine. If not, I don't want you to do anything ra sh._  Elizabeth paused.  _As much as I would like to be me again, to feel your arms around me again, I can't ask you to throw away your life's work on a mere chance. I shouldn't have come to you. I'm s-sorry._  The mental projection of her voice broke and a wave of despair washed over her.

 _I promise not to even think about it until we hear from them,_  John said.

Relief surged through her.  _Thank you._

He was quiet for a moment before he spoke up again. When he did he almost looked like a boy asking for permission to go out and play.  _Do you think with our minds together and the help of Atlantis I could see you for just a bit?_

His question made her chuckle.  _I think if we put our minds together we can do anything,_  Elizabeth replied. _Yes, with Atlantis' help I believe it will be possible. Only for a short time though. I don't yet have the strength to hold a form for long._

Tentatively she reached out to John through Atlantis, allowing the city to be the bridge between them.  _Ready?_  she asked softly.

John took a deep breath and nodded. Soon, they were in sync with Atlantis and Elizabeth was being projected not five feet away from him. He stood up as she appeared before him looking as beautiful as he remembered. "Hey," he said with a smile.

"Hey, yourself." Elizabeth couldn't help but return his smile. She looked down and gasped, she could see her hands again, funny how very strange the sensation was. She had gotten used to not having any.

She laughed in delight at the clothes she was wearing, she wasn't sure if John or Atlantis had picked her old uniform, complete with red shirt. Blinking, she looked up. "Itâ€™s so good to see you." She started toward him and then hesitated. John was keeping his distance, should she?

"I love how you look in that shirt," John said quietly. He did want to move closer to her, but he was afraid he would reach o ut to touch her and not be able to.

"Ah, so it was you," Elizabeth smirked. She took another small step toward him. "John you can come closer. I won't bite," she said, misinterpreting his hesitation.

John tried to hide his pained expression. "I wanted to see you more than anything but if I come closer I'll want to try to hold you and that... well..."

"Oh," she said softly, her heart breaking a bit for him. She cast her eyes down toward the floor. For a long moment she held them there as she further opened her connection to Atlantis questioning, searching. Suddenly she looked back up. "Here." Elizabeth held out a shaky hand to him. "Take my hand. Hurry, please. I'm not sure how long I can hold it together," she implored him. With the city's help she could touch him. It would be brief, but it would have to be enough.

John took a step forward and their fingertips touched, then their hands, and soon John was holding both her hands in his.

She trembl ed as his hands closed over hers. His touch was what she missed most about not being human. Taking a step forward, she closed the last of the distance, their joined hands resting on his chest.

"Thank you," he whispered. He, too, was helping Atlantis maintain the connection to Elizabeth. "I love you," John finally admitted.

He was so warm and Elizabeth hoped she didn't feel strange to him standing here with no breath or pulse. A thrill ran through her at his admission. "I love you, too," she replied. How she wanted to be human again; to be with John again! Would it be worth tempting fate and defying the military and the IOA? Right here, right now, she was hard pressed to say no. She leaned in, touching her forehead to his, letting herself have a moment to just feel.

John eyes were closed as their foreheads touched and before he could stop himself, he was leaning his lips towards hers. They touched hesitantly and before they even realized what they were doing , they were locked in a passionate kiss. Elizabeth clung to him fiercely, a sob catching in her chest. She was so wrapped up in the moment that her concentration broke. An odd ripple passed through her and it took a moment to register that it was John falling through her as her form lost coherence.

Startled, John lurched forward and fell onto the floor. He managed to break his fall but felt a small twinge in his wrist. Ignoring it, he sat up and turned to face her. "I will do anything to save you Elizabeth. Anything!"

"Oh John!" she cried as he hit the floor. Kneeling before him she started to reach out but pulled back when she realized the folly in it. "I know you will," she whispered. "John, thereâ€™s something I have to tell you. The machine will work, I will be able to get my body back, but it's uncertain how long that body will live. It could be months, it could be years. Rodney knows, he saw it in the data."

Dazed, John sat blinking. It took a moment for his brain to process the new information she was offering.

Inching closer, she studied John for a moment. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she asked as he remained silent.

"I'm all right," he said finally, smiling even though it didn't reach his eyes. "I should probably go see if they made a decision about it yet, right?" He needed some time to think about what just happened, but he didn't want to admit that to her.

Elizabeth could tell John was decidedly  _not_  all right. "John, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." She felt her control slipping even more and that made her frantic, almost erratic. "I should go, this was a bad idea. I'm sorry," she said again, her eyes locking with his imploring him silently to forgive her. A strange shrinking sensation took hold and she knew that she was fading. Her energy spent, she allowed Atlantis to take her in, to give her a safe place to recover. Recover for what? There was no way she could contact John agai n. She would not be the source of that much hurt and pain for him. No, they would have to find another way.

"Don't leave! Elizabeth!" He cried, but she was gone. John took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He silently sent his love to Elizabeth through Atlantis, hoping she would understand that he wasn't sorry about their encounter, just confused about how things were going to end up if they couldn't get that device to work properly.

True, it seemed as though Rodney hadnâ€™t found anything wrong with the data and schematics but the possibility of losing her mere months after her becoming human again... John didn't know if he would be able to survive that.

He decided to take it all one step at time. Taking another deep breath John stepped out into the corridors, ignoring the dull throbbing forming in his temples. He didnâ€™t have time for a headache, not when he had an IOA to convince that going back to Pegasus was the right course of action.


	5. Chapter 5

 

Elizabeth remained out of it for quite some time. When she regained enough strength to check on John, he was gone. She felt panicked when she realized she had no idea where he had gone or how much time had passed. Atlantis reached out to her, assuring her of John's love and the city's devotion. After a long inner battle, Elizabeth decided it was best for her to leave. Reluctantly, she said good bye, floating up and out of the city into the clouds and beyond. Yet even in orbit, she could hear them both calling to her, plaintive and urgent. They needed her and she needed them.  _Selfish!_  she chastised herself.  _Don't go back! Leave him, let him find peace._

She almost did it, almost turned her back on her home for the third and final time. However in the end, she couldnâ€™t do it. Deep in her heart she knew, no matter how much distance between them, neither would find rest without the other.

*********

While John was thankful the IOA had been open minded, he really wished Rodney would learn brevity. This meeting seemed never ending and John lost focus as Rodney droned on and on.

 _"John!" she gasped out as he tickled her._

 _He grinned as she laughed while trying to stop him. "What?"_

 _"Stop! You *gasp* know I'm ticklish!"_

 _"Exactly!"_

"Colonel Sheppard."

John blinked, looking over at Carson. "What is it, Doc?"

"Are you all right? Rodney's been trying to brief us about Atlantis's return to the Pegasus Galaxy and you seem preoccupied."

He was silent as he tried to remember the last thing he heard Rodney say. Something about M1X-564 being the planet where the device was located.

General O'Neill had been instrumental in getting the Atlantis expedition team the go-ahead for the mission. He had convinced the IOA they owed Dr. Weir that much.

John had been trying, without success, to contact Eliz abeth through Atlantis again. He thought that might be the reason for the constant headaches and blackouts of late, but he said nothing to anyone about it.

He suddenly realized Carson was waiting for a reply and quickly gave him one before the doctor dragged him down to the infirmary. "I'm good, Carson," he replied. "Just anxious to get back there, ya know?"

"Aye, Colonel, I know," the doctor said with a smile.

***********

Elizabeth wandered around Atlantis. Though she did check on John from time to time, she wouldn't talk to him directly; she couldn't bring herself to hurt him like that again. From observing, she learned that John's request to return to Pegasus was being seriously considered. The chances of her getting her body back were becoming greater.

When a briefing was called to discuss going back, she could stay away no longer. She winced at how haggard and tired John appeared. Could that be because she had stayed away? Standing behind h im she reached out through Atlantis, touching his mind just enough to let him know she was here.

John relaxed a bit when he felt Elizabeth make contact. However, his headache spiked and a moment later he was staring up at Carson from the floor.

"Colonel!" he exclaimed.

"Doc?"

Elizabeth backed off, alarmed. Had she done that? She wasn't taking any chances. She severed the connection with Atlantis and hung back, waiting to see what Carson had to say.

"Let's get you to the infirmary," Carson said, clearly concerned about what had just happened. "Your blood pressure is far too high for my liking."

Before John could respond, Rodney pointed a finger at him. "Elizabeth was just contacting you through Atlantis, wasn't she?"

"Colonel Sheppard, what is going on here?" Woolsey demanded.

John glared at Rodney. "Nothing, I'm fine."

"I think I'll be the judge of that," Carson replied as he and Ronon helped John to his feet. "Mr. Wool sey, you can ask your questions after I've examined Colonel Sheppard."

Elizabeth jumped at Rodney's accusation. So she was the one causing John's illness.

Worried, she followed them to the infirmary. Never had she felt so helpless. She wanted to reach out to John but she was afraid of injuring him further. In her distraction, she got too close to one of the scanners in the infirmary. The display began crackling and flashing. Elizabeth was able to back away before the monitor shorted out completely.

Rodney's eyes went wide. "She's here isn't she?" he asked no one in particular. Everyone else's attention was focused on John. "Elizabeth! If that's you we need to find a better way for you to speak to Sheppard."

She wanted to scream "No shit!" at Rodney but she wasn't sure she how she could make him hear her without hurting him as well.

"Rodney," John said, glancing over at his friend. "I'm pretty sure she knows that, but as of right now there is no other way."

Rodney began muttering and calculating under his breath. "I might have a way. Elizabeth, if you can hear me, come with me!"

"Colonel."

"I'm feeling much better, Carson, really."

"Just let me run some tests and we'll go from there, all right?"

John sighed. "All right."

Elizabeth was torn. She desperately wanted to be able to communicate with John again without hurting him, but she was reluctant to leave his side. In the end her desire to communicate won out. There was nothing she could do for John in her current state and Carson would take good care of him, so she followed Rodney down the hall wondering just what he had in mind.

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

Once Rodney arrived in his lab, he began typing away at his computer. "I'm basically going to turn you into a hologram," he told Elizabeth, knowing she was there. "Kinda like what Morgana did when she talked to Jackson a few years ago. I'm also going to incorporate some of the tech from the device that I erm... messed with, too."

Hope stirred within her. If Rodney could get this to work, she could talk to John without fear of hurting him, not to mention the fact that the others would be able to see her too. If she could, she would have hugged Rodney. Elizabeth was elated and a bit nervous too. With Rodney, things could go very well or implode spectacularly. There seemed to be no middle ground. However, other than John, there was no one else she would trust so implicitly. With no hesitation, she put her fate in Rodney's capable hands.

After a few hours of cursing and muttering, Rodney finally got everything together and where he needed it to be. He took a deep breath as he spoke to Elizabeth. "Okay, hopefully you're still here because I wanna turn on your hologram now. I don't think you appearing in the Gate Room suddenly would be such a great idea. So... here we go!" Rodney said, punching the enter key, praying nothing would explode.

Elizabeth found she couldn't argue with Rodney's logic. A buzz filled the air and there was slight crackling sound. She began to tingle all over, a weird, crawling feeling like static electricity on her skin. There was a blinding flash and then she looked down. She could see her feet and hands... she held the latter up, examining them closely from every angle. Eventually she realized Rodney was a few feet away, staring open-mouthed at her.

"Rodney? You can see, me can't you?" She asked excitedly.

He nodded slowly. "Hey. Good to have you back."

"It's good to be back." She started to move then hesitated. "Can I move? Will I have to stay in this room? Am I real? Do I look like me?" she asked in rapid fire succession, holding out a hand to Rodney.

"Whoa, whoa! Take it easy," Rodney said with a chuckle. "You should be able to move throughout the city but you'll still pass through objects. I'm working on fixing that, though. And yes, you most certainly look like you, Elizabeth." He smiled, quite pleased with himself. "I guess we should go up to the infirmary to check on Sheppard, huh?"

Eagerly, she fell into step beside him. "Yes, let's go see John. I want to make sure he's all right." In her haste she walked through the door, passing through it completely before it had a chance to open for Rodney. She stopped and shook her head at herself. "That's going to take some getting used to," she said with a smirk.

"Yeah, you'll get the hang of it," Rodney said as he stepped out into the hallway.

"Rodney, thank you. It's nice to be seen again."

"I should probably tell you something since he won't say a word but I think you should know," Rodney said. "John's been having these major blackouts. Ronon, Teyla, and I were going to say something to Carson about it because it's been going on for a while. We were going to talk to him after that meeting but John collapsed before we could. Since we all weren't... one hundred percent sure he was, uh, talking to you, we kind of thought he was losing it..."

Elizabeth nodded grimly. "I figured he'd have trouble convincing the command staff. It is a bit unconventional."  _Wow, was that an understatement!_  She shook her head and moved on. "The blackouts... they were caused by communicating with me weren't they?"

"I think so," Rodney admitted after a moment. He stopped and turned to face her. "Hey, I know you feel bad about this and I wouldn't normally tell you, but like I said, John wouldn't have under any circumstances. However, I know you would want to know in case Carson mentions it or something. Besides John would do anything f or you, even if he has to experience physical pain."

"I know, and I would do anything for him," Elizabeth replied. "I don't want anything to happen to him. A world without John isn't worth coming back to," she said softly.

There was a sudden commotion in the hallway. Elizabeth looked up just in time to see Cavanaugh bounce off a wall, gape at her open mouthed, then turn and run.

"Cavanaugh? What's  _he_  doing here?" She asked glaring as he retreated.

"Whining, complaining, sowing seeds of discontent, the usual," Rodney smirked. "Don't worry, he requested a transfer as soon as he heard we were going back to Pegasus.

Just before they entered the infirmary, Rodney stopped. "Let me go in there and prepare them because, well, you know..."

Elizabeth nodded and few minutes later Rodney came back out.

"Okay, they're ready."

She felt bad about springing her feelings for John on Rodney like that. She had figured he kn ew. It seemed everyone had assumed they were together even before they had become involved.

Nervously, she entered the infirmary. All eyes were upon her. She could feel them, but Elizabeth only had eyes for one person. Stopping just short of the end of John's bed, she smiled. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

John smiled at her as he heard Carson telling everyone to go away and the curtains were drawn around them. "Hey," he said. "Feeling much better, thanks. Just haven't been sleeping well is all. I'm good and very happy to actually see you again."

Elizabeth couldn't help but return his smile. There was a loud murmur from the other side of the curtain, then she heard Carson tell everyone to clear out and leave them in peace.

"Seems my presence is causing a stir," she smirked. "At least they now know you were right; I was here and not some figment of your imagination." She paused before proceeding. "John, why didn't you tell me that communicating with me was causing you to black out?" she asked gently. "The last thing I want is to hurt you."

"Elizabeth, honestly I didn't know it was that at first. I just thought I hadn't been sleeping enough and because I had the headaches and whatever it took me a minute to figure out what was going on." John paused before he continued. "And by the time I figured it out, I couldn't stop. I don't blame you for what happened, okay? I love you too much."

"I blame me," Elizabeth said flatly. "I should have noticed what it was doing to you, but no. I let my selfishness get in the way of what's best for you." She sighed. "I don't want to hurt you so no more communicating through Atlantis. Besides, Rodney's found a better way." Elizabeth smiled and did a three hundred and sixty degree turn. "What do you think? Not bad huh?" she asked, hoping to lighten the mood.

John gave her a look that said he was to blame as well but that they would drop it all together. The two were famous for their looks of understanding.

Her eyes narrowed as they locked with his. Finally she gave him an almost imperceptible nod of understanding. The matter would drop.

"You look as beautiful as the day I met you, Elizabeth," John told her.

"And you're still a sweet talker," she teased obviously pleased with his words. Even though she knew this was only a projection it was a comfort to know he still found her appealing.

John shrugged, smiling in his boyishly charming way. "And we heard from General O'Neill. The IOA has agreed to let us go back, with Atlantis, by the way."

Her smile widened. "That is excellent news! Just what we hoped for and I'm sure Teyla and Ronon will be happy about that, as well." She moved closer. "Thank you for making it possible and thank the General for me, too."

"We're going to have a briefing tomorrow morning after I've rested, per Carson, of course. I believe General O'Neill will be here so you can tell him your self." John glanced at his hands. "Teyla-- I feel just horrible about what's happened. I tried everything to get her and Ronon back to Pegasus, but no one would listen. Now, at least Teyla will be able to go to her people. Ronon, I think, has found someone of interest," he added with a chuckle.

"You did your best, John. They both volunteered to come with Atlantis. It's not your fault they were stuck here for so long." Elizabeth paced a few steps. "Ronon? That's good to hear. It's not good to be alone for so long." She smiled warmly. "And I'm very happy for Teyla. I know her confinement has been very trying for her." Elizabeth stopped at the foot of John's bed.

"About O'Neill. I am grateful he intervened on our behalf, but I'm not sure I want him to see me like this." She looked down at herself then back up at John. "Probably the less people who do, the better." Though she would love to see Jack again, she wasn't sure she was ready for the fuss suddenly be ing visible would cause. It was bad enough that John had to see her this way.

John nodded, wishing he could hold her hand. "Hey, I'm sure he'll understand. I take it you'll still be present, though, right?"

"I hope he will." Elizabeth noticed John's hand twitch unconsciously. She wished she could touch him too, hopefully soon. Slowly she nodded. "Yes, unless you would rather I didn't attend. It must be creepy never knowing if I am looking over your shoulder."

"No, you should definitely be there, Elizabeth! If you want to be visible, that is completely up to you, although I am a bit partial to seeing you," John added with a wink.

She couldn't help but laugh softly at his antics. "Okay, I'll be there and I'll let them see me. I'm not going to let you face this alone. We promised to see this through together, after all." Her lips curved into a coy smirk. "I like being seen by you. If everything goes according to the plan, soon seeing won't be all there w ill be to it. I've really missed being held by you, more than words can say," she admitted with an almost shy look.

"I've missed holding you too," John replied, smiling sadly at her.

"OOF! McKay, you idiot!" a hushed whisper from Ronon could be heard behind the curtain.

"Hey, I can't help it if you have big feet!"

John shook his head as Elizabeth grinned. "Come on in here guys," he said.

Elizabeth laughed as Rodney and Ronon tumbled through the curtain.

"Damn! It's good to see you!" Ronon rushed toward her and before she could warn him he passed right through.

"Uh, easy there big guy," Rodney cautioned too late. "She's not -- uh-- solid... yet." He gave Elizabeth an apologetic look.

"It's okay. I appreciated the thought," Elizabeth replied. "It's good to see you too, Ronon. I really appreciate the two of you sticking by John through all this."

"Hey that's what friends are for." Ronon grinned, "Right buddy?" He slapped Joh n's shoulder then folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the wall.

"Definitely," John replied, smiling. He felt as though he had smiled more in the last few hours than in the last year. "Really, you guys have been great!"

The friends chatted until Carson finally told them it was time for his patient to rest.

Elizabeth remained a few minutes longer. John looked up at her. "What?"

"I thought I would stick around for a bit to make sure you follow the doctor's orders," she smiled at him knowingly. "And to say thank you and I love you."

Elizabeth pressed her fingers to her lips then blew John a kiss. "Sleep now; I'll come back when you wake up."

John smiled as she disappeared. "I love you, too," he said quietly, settling into the bed.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

Through the night Elizabeth had practiced turning the hologram off and on,making herself appear and disappear in a secluded lab Rodney set up for her. Finally, she was tired enough to meditate. She no longer slept, there was no need of it, but at times like this she missed it. It was taxing to have her mind alert and 'on' constantly.

Morning arrived and Elizabeth found the city abuzz with excitement. She waited until she was just outside the conference room before making herself visible. If she was going to do this she was going to do this right and walk through the door like a normal person. A nervous thrill ran through her when she heard the voices and laughter inside the room.

Teyla unknowingly passed Elizabeth and found John, Rodney, and Ronon in the briefing room. She smiled warmly at them, giving them all a hug.

"What was that for?" Rodney asked, blushing a vibrant shade of red.

Ronon shook his head. "When a beautiful woman hugs you, don't question it, McKay."

"Hey, but Jennifer..."

"Will not be jealous of you and Teyla," John said with a grin.

Pushing aside her hesitation, Elizabeth stepped inside, unsurprised when all eyes turned her way. "Good morning everyone," she said with a smile.

O'Neill looked up as Elizabeth made her presence known. "Sweet!" he said. "Nice entrance, Dr. Weir!"

Elizabeth laughed, "Well you know me, General, I like to make a memorable one."

O'Neill smiled, "That you do. You're looking good."

"Thank you."

"It's my understanding you and the kids here have discovered a way to make your situation a bit more uh-- permanent." O'Neill squinted as he searched for the right word.

"Yes, I believe we have," Elizabeth said.

"All right, let's get this meeting started so you all can lay it out for me," O'Neill said, wasting no more time. "I'll try to wrap my old brain around it, but, McKay, try to use regular jargon and not that egghead stuff you and Carter are so fond of. I'm not getting any younger, you know."

Rodney sighed and began explaining the process of the device to a not-very-captivated, if captive, audience. Though he made a valiant effort to keep the technical terms to a minimum, the details began to get away from him as he warmed up to the subject. By the time he made his way to the middle of the presentation, he could tell that more than one pair of eyes were glazed over.

As Rodney's speech droned on and on, the tension in John's shoulders became more evident. Elizabeth wished she could reach out and rub them to help alleviate some of his stress. Even if she could, she wouldn't, at least not right now. That would be highly inappropriate.

John yawned not so subtly behind his hand.

"Okay, I get it!" Rodney groused. "General, I think we've gone over everything and just waiting for your go ahead." That got everyoneâ€™s attention.

John nodded. "We already have a team that's ready and willing to go, General."

O'Neill stood with a nod. "Good. You'll be leaving at 0800 tomorrow morning."

"Before you go, General, I'd like to say something," Elizabeth said as O'Neill got to his feet.

"Okay, shoot."

"I appreciate you endorsing this mission. Not just for me." She glanced over at Ronon and Teyla who smiled. "But for my friends and Atlantis; they deserve a chance to return home and she doesn't belong here. Thank you for your support."

O'Neill nodded. "You're welcome. It's the right thing to do for many reasons. Just glad I could help out. Sometimes being cantankerous pays off. Right, Johnny boy?" He grinned and slapped John heartily on the shoulder.

John chuckled. "Right, Sir," he replied.

Teyla stepped up to O'Neill, taking his arms and leaning her head towards his. John motioned for him to do the same.

"Thank you for everything, General."

"Family is important," he told h er, looking around the room. "Whether or not they're  
blood related."

Teyla nodded in agreement. "That is very true," she said with a smile.

"See you all on the flip side!" O'Neill said as he left the room.

Once he was gone John looked over at Elizabeth. "So as long as everything goes as planned, you should be back in your human form within the next seventy-two hours."

"Oh, you just had to say that!"

John glanced at Rodney. "What?"

"'As long as everything goes as planned'? Sheppard, have you ever been on any of our missions. Do you need me to pull the reports about 'things that have gone as planned'?"

"You're a glass half empty guy, aren't you?"

"Only if the glass contains something other than lemonade," Elizabeth quipped.

"Nice, real nice. The two of you always have to gang up on me, don't you?" Rodney huffed. "Of course, now that I know that you two are er-- well let's just say it makes more sense," he finished hast ily as both Elizabeth and John shot him bemused looks.

"It's not just them," Ronon said with a grin. "I always join in any effort to get you to stop whining."

Rodney snorted. "Fine, when our luck changes, I'll be there to say I told you so."

"You make your own luck, McKay," Ronon said.

"Oh yeah, Sasquatch? When has  _that_  ever happened in our favor with this group?" Rodney's words dripped with sarcasm.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and left the boys to their bickering. She hadn't had a chance to speak to Teyla and she wanted to see how her friend was faring.

"Teyla, you look well. How is Torren?" she inquired, eager to learn more.

"As do you, my friend," Teyla said. "Torren seems to grow daily. He is healthy yet unsettled. He misses his father greatly."

Elizabeth felt sadness stab at her heart. "I'm sure you both miss him very much and I'm sorry you have been kept apart for so long. Family should be together."

"True, but Kanaan is not my only family. I stayed with Atlantis willingly and I knew the risks." Teyla's lips curved into a gentle smile. "That being said, it will be good to see Kanaan and New Athos again."

*************

Five hours after leaving Earth, they were almost to the planet in question.

John stood with his arms crossed as he checked the view screen.

"Sheppard, there's a Wraith hive ship in orbit around the planet!" Rodney exclaimed. "Going as planned, huh?"

Elizabeth moved over to get a better look at the view screen. "It doesn't look like they've spotted us. At least not yet."

"Well I'm comforted," Rodney scoffed as he pressed a few buttons. "Do you all want the bad news or the even worse news?" he asked.

"Surprise us, Rodney," Elizabeth replied, trying hard not to lose her patience.

"The Hive's shields are weak but their weapons are fully operational. There seems to only be a skeleton crew on board." Rodney paused. "The w orse news is that the majority of the Wraith-- yeah you guessed it-- are in the facility where the Ancient machine is housed. There are two dozen drones in there at least, maybe more. The facility is underground so the sensors may not be getting an accurate reading."

Elizabeth exchanged worried looks with John. "That is worse news."

Woolsey picked that moment to join them. "Well we're here, no going back now," he said briskly. "Anyone care to suggest a course of action?"

John was quiet for a few minutes before he said, "Todd."

"Excuse me, Colonel," Woolsey said. "But did you just suggest Todd?"

"I did. It's the best idea we've got short of going in there with hardly enough fire power."

Woolsey sighed with nod, knowing that was true. "Very well, Colonel, I'll leave it to you then." His mouth formed a grim line as Sheppard left the Control Room.

"It's the right call, Richard," she said softly.

Woolsey nodded curtly. "Doesn't mean I have to like it."

Elizabeth gave him a small, sympathetic smile before vanishing. No sense telling Woolsey it's the call she would make. It'd only make him feel worse.

She reappeared outside the prison area and waited for John and he smiled when he saw her standing there. "Maybe we shouldn't let Todd know you're here just yet," he said.

His suggestion made her frown but she nodded and lowered her voice. "Okay. You're more familiar with Todd."

John entered the brig to see Todd sitting on the bench. The Wraith looked up when he heard the door.

"To what do I owe this unexpected visit, John Sheppard?"

Even though John didn't okay his idea with Woolsey he replied, "How would you like to return to the Pegasus Galaxy?"

That certainly piqued Todd's curiosity, enough that the Wraith stood up. "I would be interested to know how you were going to accomplish this seeing as your people didn't want the city to move from its position. Don't th ink I haven't noticed we've traveled."

"Can't get anything by you," John said with a smirk. "All right here's the deal. We are back in Pegasus but some of your friends are surrounding the planet we need to get to. You help us, we let you go. That's the deal."

"And how do I know you will truly let me go, John Sheppard?" Todd inquired with exaggerated politeness. "I seem to recall a few visitors just last week that wanted to view me through a microscope."

John shrugged. "I guess you don't know, but I personally have never gone back on my word to you so maybe you'll take that into consideration."

Todd was quiet as he thought. Finally he said, "Very well. I will trust you and I will help you... for now."

"Good. I'll send Rodney down here to show you what's going on," John said with a grin. "Don't scare him too much."

"You do take all the fun out of our joint ventures but I will endeavor to restrain myself. Call it a gesture of good faith."

John nodded and went out into the hall. "So," he said to Elizabeth, as he headed back up to the control room. "That went well!"

 

Elizabeth appeared at John's side as he walked out into the hall. "Yes, it did. Did you expect him to agree so readily? I know he's been cooped up here with threat of being dissected but I figured on more posturing." Her brow furrowed thoughtfully. Todd had been weakened by his captivity but still he was Todd.

"Honestly I did too, but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth," he replied, smiling at her. "It's bad enough we have to put off helping you get back to yourself."

"We'll get there," she said returning his smile. "Like Richard said, we've come this far, no going back now."

Elizabeth fell silent as they stepped into the lift. "I just hope I'm worth it." She fixed John with a stern look. "Promise me, though, that if it gets too hairy we'll get out of here. I don't want to risk Atlantis, not even for a chance at being human again."

John turned to face her, not realizing she had been so close. If she had been solid, he would have grabbed her and kissed her if only to show her how much she was worth it. "How can you even say that?" he asked. "You don't know how hard it was for us to move on without you. The city felt almost empty with you gone. You are completely worth it, Elizabeth. Don't doubt it for a second!"

"John, I..." Instinctively she reached out to take his hand, wincing when hers passed through it. "I know how hard it was for me to move on. That's why I came back," she said softly. It was a bit overwhelming, how much she needed him. The pull back to him and their city had been too great to ignore. The power of it frightened her a bit. "I know you think I'm worth it and I love you for it. We also both know Atlantis is special. She's more than a city, she's alive. The others can't feel it but you can-- I can." She gave him a small smile as a ripple of energy p assed through her. "I can feel it right now."

"I can feel it, too. Atlantis is almost as much a part of me as you are." He gave her a small smile. "You and I going to be together again, Elizabeth, really together!" John said. "I--"

"Sheppard, come in."

He rolled his eyes at Rodney's timing. "Yeah, go ahead."

"Most of the Wraith are on the planet now, but I have to tell you, the building doesn't look very stable."

"Of course it doesn't," John replied, rubbing his forehead. "Get down to the brig and work with Todd."

"Why do I always have to work with Todd?" Rodney grumbled. "Don't the two of you have that love-hate-can't-trust-each-other-as-far-as-you-can-throw-each-other thing going on?"

"Rodney, you have the expertise to break through the jamming and contact the Wraith. Todd has given his word, such as it is, to help. Let him," Elizabeth said, trying to reassure him.

"Okay. I hope you know I wouldn't go through this for anyone but you, Elizabeth--okay you and Jennifer--but that's it!" Rodney replied.

"I know Rodney, and I appreciate it." Elizabeth smiled. They exited the lift just as Rodney was coming up on it. "Thanks Rodney," she said as he huffed passed.

"Yeah, yeah. Thank me later,  _after_  you're human again. Right now I have work to do," Rodney said. Despite the gruffness of his words, Elizabeth caught a hint of a smile on his lips as the doors closed.

"He's something else, but he's a good friend," Elizabeth said as she fell into step beside John once more. "So, what's next? Assemble a team to go over after Todd has spoken to the Wraith?"

John chuckled. "God, I've missed the way you handle Rodney and get him to do what he doesn't want to do. At least with you he doesn't whine and complain as much. I'm waiting for the day Ronon drop kicks him into space."

Elizabeth couldnâ€™t help but smile at the imagery but focused on the task at hand. John grin ned at her reaction and continued. "Ronon and I are definitely part of the team. We'll probably recruit Lorne to come along, and Rodney, too."

"Do not forget me, John." The pair turned to see Teyla holding Torren in her arms.

The boy reached his arms up to be held by John who readily accepted the little guy. "Hey!" he said, making silly faces at him, causing the baby to laugh.

Teyla smiled as she watched the two interact before turning to Elizabeth. "How are you?" she asked.

Elizabeth returned Teyla's smile. "I'm well. A bit nervous but that's to be expected, I suppose." She studied Teyla for a moment. "Teyla you don't have to go. You should stay with your son."

"I want to go. Dr. Keller has agreed to look after him," Teyla said. "I owe it to you, my friend."

"Teyla, you owe me nothing." Elizabeth was touched by the way all her friends were rallying around her and John. She found herself speechless and her eyes were drawn to John and littl e Torren.

"He's very good with him. Isn't he?" she marveled, smiling at how the boy laughed at John's antics.

"He is indeed. John has been very good to me and my family." Teyla smiled and gave Elizabeth a knowing look. "He will make an excellent father some day."

Elizabeth was glad that for the moment she wasn't human; holograms couldn't blush. She'd forgotten how Teyla could practically read minds at times. "Some day," she echoed. "Right now we have to get through today. Hopefully, Rodney will have something to report soon."

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

Nearly two hours later, Rodney had everyone meet in the briefing room to discuss the information Todd had given him.  
"It looks like we have all the codes we'll need to keep their shields from going up the minute they see us. I would suggest we have a slew of jumpers out there, too, besides using the chair weapon."

"Do we know how many Wraith are on the ground?" John asked.

Rodney tapped a few keys on the laptop. "As far as Todd could tell there are probably about 14 or 15. From what he could extract by hacking their network, they had a run in with another Hive and lost most of their complement. He couldnâ€™t dig for more details without raising red flags so he backed out of the system."

"Awesome!" John replied with a grin, looking over at Woolsey. "With your permission..."

"Colonel, I don't have to remind you of the risks youâ€™re taking," he replied, glancing over at Elizabeth. They all knew full well what could happen to al l of them if they couldn't defeat the Wraith here.

John stood up, looking at his friends, then back at Woolsey. "I think I speak for everyone here that we're willing to take that risk."

Ronon crossed his arms. "I stand by Sheppard and Weir."

"As do I," Teyla said.

There were murmurs of agreement from Carson, Lorne, and the others.

"I think we all do. That's why we're here," Rodney said giving Woolsey a smug look. "There's, uh, just one, uh, tiny sorta minor thing."

"And that would be?" Woolsey asked.

"Todd wants to go with us." Rodney cleared his throat nervously. "He um... thinks it would be more effective for him to speak to the Wraith Commander, ah, face to face."

Woolsey opened his mouth, but John spoke up instead. "Look, we've had him held here forever and he's willing to help out. So he wants to help us to help himself, who cares. We're taking him either way!"

"I was going to say that was fine," Woolsey replied shak ing his head. "You can go when you're ready."

John nodded, clapping Woolsey on the back. "Lorne, get our pilots briefed and ready to go. Carson, get down to the chair room. The rest of us will get geared up."

"Aye, Colonel," Carson replied and set off to sit in the chair. Elizabeth knew how much Carson hated doing that and she made a mental note to find a way to repay him, to repay all her friends for doing this for her.

One by one, they exited the room. She gave John a special smile and a wave as he exited.

"I wish there was more that I could do to help them prepare," she said.

"Then we're in the same boat," Woolsey chuckled. "Never easy being the one left to sit and wait, but you know that as well as I do."

Elizabeth smiled and nodded. "Doesn't make it any easier for you, though. I really appreciate this, Richard. I know it's a big risk for one person."

"You're welcome. Honestly, it was either this or a mutiny. They really care abo ut you, you know."

"I know," Elizabeth replied. "I don't know what I've done to deserve it but I'm grateful for them all."

"You should be. Such loyalty is not easily engendered, especially in the military types. You'll have to give me some pointers when you get back," he said.

"I'll do my best."

"And, Dr. Weir-- Elizabeth," Woolsey called as she turned to go. "You will always have a place here in Atlantis if I have anything to say about it. Just thought you should know."

"Thank you, Richard. That means a lot. I'll see you soon," Elizabeth said before disappearing and reappearing in the jumper bay.

Elizabeth reappearing scared the crap out of Rodney who nearly dropped his laptop. "Oh, haha! Hilarious!" he said when he heard John and Ronon laughing.

"Sorry, Rodney, I didn't mean to startle you." Elizabeth smothered a grin. "If the mission is a success, you won't have to worry about me doing that much longer."

"Good," Rodney gro used.

"Take it easy, Rodney!" John said. "If you get scared with Elizabeth popping in and out of nowhere, you're going to be of no use to us."

Before Rodney could respond Todd arrived, being escorted by Lorne and five Marines.

"Dr. Weir," he said, clearly surprised by her presence.

Elizabeth turned to look the Wraith in the eye. "Hello, Todd. Thank you for agreeing to help us."

A low rumbling laugh emanated from deep within Todd. "It seems I had little choice. My confinement has been ah-- taxing. Wasting away seemed my fate, or to end up on some scientist's autopsy table back on your Earth." He harrumphed loudly. "Neither option was very, umm, appealing." He bared his fangs in a toothy grin.

"I apologize for the way you've been treated. We had little say in the matter," Elizabeth replied.

"Do not concern yourself with me, Dr. Weir. Knowing that this will leave John Sheppard in my debt once again makes it all worth while."

John shook his head but he would repay Todd when he needed to. This was more than worth it.  
"Let's get going. Lorne, you know what to do."

"Got it, Colonel," Lorne replied, running to his jumper.

John sat down in the pilot seat of jumper one, glancing back at his passengers. Tabbing his headset, he asked, "Carson, you ready?"

"Aye, Colonel!" the doctor answered through the radio.

Soon, they were nearing the hive ship and Rodney was typing furiously, first at his laptop, then at the console in front of him.

There seemed to be a brief pause before three darts came out of the hive, but no weapons were fired, thanks to Todd's access codes. Once the hive was taken care of, the jumpers proceeded to the planet.

"Ha! The codes worked!" Rodney crowed.

"You seem surprised," Elizabeth said.

"Well with him--" Rodney jerked his thumb toward Todd, "you never know."

Todd chuckled heartily. "You never change, McKay. You constantly doub t my sincerity. Keep it up... one of these days you might be correct." A grotesque smile spread across his face.

"Does the Wraith have to talk?" Ronon grumbled, shooting Todd a menacing look of his own.

"Play nice, kids," John said with a grin, "or I'll turn this Jumper around!"

"Don't quit your day job, Sheppard," Rodney replied sardonically.

John chuckled as if to say 'whatever' to Rodney as he called Lorne. "Make sure all Jumpers are cloaked and stay in formation. We shouldn't have too much to worry about down there."

"Understood, Colonel."

Ronon stood in the back, setting his weapon to kill, and itching to kick some Wraith ass. "What are you grinning at?" he asked Todd.

"Nothing you would understand, Satedan."

"Oh yeah? Try me." Ronon's grip tightened on his weapon.

"Ronon be at peace." Teyla put a steadying hand on the big man's arm. "Have you not dealt with Todd enough to understand that is what passes for humor with him?"

"There is hope for you yet, Teyla Emmagan," Todd chuckled.

Teyla inclined her head in his direction, her face impassive.

Elizabeth was pretty certain Teyla wasn't thrilled with Todd's presence either, but she accepted it.

The facility was located in a mountain range on the planet's northernmost continent. They could see nothing from orbit but as they drew closer, Elizabeth could make out a large opening similar to the door of a docking bay.

"Looks like the Wraith blasted their way in," she said, noting the jagged edges of the metal doors and smoke drifting from the opening.

"Just like 'em too," John replied grinning. "At least we don't have to do it now."

The Jumpers landed in their positions and the teams carefully spread out among the trees that hid them from view of the facility.

John took the lead with Todd beside him. "Watson, take the chains off him. He's not going to be any use to us like that"

"What?" Rodney screeched. "Are you nuts?"

"If we're going to try and get in there with him then we gotta let the Wraith think we're his prisoners, not the other way around. You do remember that Lorne and about ten Marines surround us right now?"

"Yeah, I remember," he muttered. "Forgive me, though, if I'm less than thrilled we're employing the old 'Wookie in handcuffs' trick."

Ronon clapped him on the back. "I'll protect you, Princess."

"My knight in shining armor," Rodney retorted, rolling his eyes.

Teyla rolled her eyes as well and John snorted at Ronon and Rodney's antics.

Todd rubbed his wrists as the manacles were released. "Are your men in position?" At John's affirmative response, he began to stride forward. "Good. Let's get this over with, John Sheppard, while I still have the strength to carry off this ruse."

"I think I'll make myself less visible for now," Elizabeth added as they prepared to exit the Jumper. "If something goes wrong I might be able to short out their weapons, but I can't do it in this form." At John's nod, she began to fade.

The team headed to the opening where two drones were keeping guard. Todd wasted no time, the moment the guards caught sight of him, he demanded to see the Wraith Commander. A few moments later, the Commander appeared. The Wraith sized up the situation and glared at Todd, recognizing him immediately as the one who kept conspiring with the humans.

Before the Wraith Commander could say a word, Todd snapped his neck and he dropped to the ground. The two Wraith stationed at the door were momentarily stunned. They recovered too late. As they were about to fire, Ronon took them out with two blasts.

Weapons fire erupted all around them and as they took cover, John yelled at Todd. "What the hell was that?"

"You asked for my help, John Sheppard! Do not criticize what I provide. It had the desired effect, did it not?"

Ronon actually grinned. "Yeah it did!"

"Geeze!" Rodney yelped, throwing himself to the ground. "I told you Todd was going to get us all killed."

"I think I'm beginning to see that humor Teyla was talking about," Ronon said.

"More Wraith incoming!" Teyla shouted, dropping to one knee and calmly laying down cover fire with her P-90.

Wraith drones, nearly a dozen, came pouring out of the blasted doors. Stunner fire filled the air. A nearby outcropping of rock was hit, peppering Sheppard's team with sharp shrapnel.

Elizabeth moved forward. In her disembodied state she could disrupt energy fields. If she could take out a few of those stunners, it would give her friends an edge.

John fired his P-90 at one of the drones that was too close for his liking. It dropped after a few rounds.  _Good thing they obviously haven't fed recently and Elizabeth can disrupt energy fields,_  he thought to himself. After almost 20 minutes of non-stop wea pons fire, it ceased.

He looked over at Rodney. "Are you detecting any more?"

"There are at least two more near Lorne's location," he replied.

John relayed the information to Lorne and they heard the P-90 rapport in the distance. However, it was too late, the sound of an explosion hitting the building echoed through the halls.

"Let's get out of here!" John exclaimed. He made certain everyone was in front of him before following. He didn't get very far before part of ceiling came down on him.

Elizabeth felt the explosion before she heard it. She raced out of the building to find her friends, quickly materializing as she moved.

"Rodney! Where's John?" she shouted as Rodney and Teyla came into view.

"Dunno," Rodney coughed. He and Teyla were both covered in dirt and small cuts.

"He and Ronon were bringing up the rear," Teyla said, concern clouding her features.

Just then Ronon staggered into view. "Call Lorne! Me and Sheppard got separated. He's still in there." He jerked his thumb in the direction of the rubble covered entryway.

"John!" Elizabeth screamed. Without thinking she headed toward the cave in. She couldn't do anything to move the rock but maybe she could find him.

John senses were slowly returning, one at a time. First his hearing, far away he could discern Elizabeth shouting his name, then the taste of blood filled his mouth. Lastly, he had an overwhelming feeling of pain in his lower abdomen. He could barely breathe with the beam on top of him and he could feel blood flowing from somewhere on his left side. He heard his name frantically shouted again. "'Lizabeth!" he gasped out, clenching his eyes in pain as he coughed.

**********

Outside, the others were assessing their predicament.

"Can't call anyone, my radio is dead!" Rodney said. "Great, just great."

"I will go inform Major Lorne of the situation," Teyla said and started jogging off in the direction of Lorne's team.

"Todd, Rodney, you're with me," Ronon said.

"Okay, where are we going exactly?" Rodney asked.

"To dig." Ronon headed back toward the rubble.

"I was afraid you were gonna say that," Rodney mumbled, trudging behind.

**************

Elizabeth moved blindly through the debris-filled corridors. "John! John! Where are you?" After what seemed like an eternity, she heard a muffled cough. She found him pinned and bleeding. "Oh John!" she gasped; this didn't look good. "What can I do?" she asked, feeling utterly helpless.

John looked up at her tiredly. "G-guess just tell them where I'm at? Maybe try and check the structural integrity. I... don't..." he trailed off, eyes drooping shut.

"Dammit!" Elizabeth said as he passed out. "John, hang in there, you hear me! I'll be back with help before you know it." In a flash, she made her way back to Ronon and the others. "Ronon! John's inside, about ten meters in. He's pinned by a beam and bleeding badly."

"Can you notify Atlantis? Get a doctor and a demolitions team down here?" Ronon asked.  "The radios are out."

"Right. I'm on it!" she said and disappeared.

"This is not good! This is not good!" Rodney exclaimed, pacing back and forth.

"McKay, we know! We don't need a running..." Ronon said as he attempted to remove some of the rock that had caved in and tried remember the word Sheppard always said.

"Commentary!" Rodney said agitatedly.

Teyla placed a hand on his shoulder. "Relax, Rodney, help will be here soon and we will get John out of there."

Elizabeth had to hand it to Woolsey. He didn't blink when she appeared in the control room, nor did he hesitate to issue orders to send the team to the planet. As soon as she was certain everything was in motion, she headed back down to the planet and John .

His breathing was shallow but he seemed to be coming around. "John, help is on the way. I need you to stay focused. Talk to me, Colonel, that's an order," she said, managing to sound calm and stern instead of scared senseless.

John didn't know how long he had lost consciousness, but at the moment it didn't matter because he couldn't feel a damn thing. He forced himself to blink his eyes open again at the sound of her voice. He wished he wasn't hallucinating. "Elizabeth..." he whispered. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

"I'm here. I'm real... well sort of." Elizabeth wished she could touch him. "John, I'm okay and I need you to be okay too. You have nothing to be sorry for. They're going to dig you out and we're going to be together again."

"You're real?" he asked, seeing her standing before him. Why wasn't she helping him? Why couldn't she touch him? After a moment he regained his senses. "Oh... forgot..." he replied. "'Lizabeth, I'm... numb a ll over."

Numb, that couldn't be good. She knelt down beside him. "A team's on their way to get you out and get you back to Atlantis so Carson can patch you up. Focus on my voice." Elizabeth could hear muffled scuffling in the distance. Hopefully that was the demolitions team doing their thing and getting ready to open up a way to John.

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

The next time John opened his eyes, he was in the infirmary.

He could see Carson moving about, but he didn't want to move because his head was killing him, as was his side. At least he could feel his side because the last he remembered, he hadn't been feeling anything down there.

"Colonel!" Carson said, coming over when he saw his patient's eyes open. "Good to see you awake, lad. I'm just going to check your vitals. I want you to tell me how you're feeling on a scale of one to ten and no pretending!"

"About a seven, Doc," he replied.

Carson was a bit surprised, but nodded. "I'll give you something for the pain. Relax and rest, you're safe now."

Elizabeth hung back inside the infirmary while Carson and his staff worked on John. It had been touch and go at first. He had internal injuries, including broken ribs, not to mention a nasty gash in his lower abdomen.

Todd had slipped away during the chaos, presumably comman deering the Hive Ship. Elizabeth wasn't sure whether to be grateful or worried that he was gone. She waited until Carson was done checking John's vitals. "May I see him now?"

"Aye, lass, but only for a few moments," Carson said with a smile.

Elizabeth nodded and approached John's bedside. "Hey there. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," he admitted. He was quiet for a moment and was about to fall back asleep when he realized something and moved to sit up. John felt the pain in his side, but he didn't care at the moment. Wincing he said, "Oh my God! They didn't destroy that entire facility, did they?" he asked, worrying about the device that could save Elizabeth.

"Take it easy. Only the front portion of the facility was caved in," Elizabeth said. "The machine was on a lower level in the rear of the complex. Once the interference from the blast subsided, Rodney was able to use the scanner to find a back door. It was heavily secured but Rodney and Radek cracked the codes and got us inside."

She mentally breathed a sigh of relief as John relaxed. "The device was intact but the power supply was damaged. Rodney and Radek managed to disconnect it from the facility and brought it on board Atlantis."

There was a pause as she allowed John to absorb the information.

"That was two days ago. You've been out of it for three. We broke orbit shortly after the device was secure. Atlantis is holding position in a neighboring system, awaiting orders from Earth. Woolsey is pretty confident we are going to be allowed to stay in Pegasus, though. There was a cache of information in the facility as well. Rodney and I haven't had a chance to begin translating it, but it looks like it contains the location of every Ancient facility in this galaxy, even secret ones not in the Atlantis database."

John nodded, taking in everything Elizabeth just told him. "Thank God," he said after a few minutes. He then realized so mething Carson would probably kick is ass for. "Um... I think you might want to get Carson because I may have torn a few stitches..."

"Oh John," Elizabeth gasped when she saw the blood stain spreading on the white infirmary sheet. Wasting no time she made herself reappear right in front of Carson who jumped a good three feet.

"Bloody hell woman! Don't be scaring a body like that. Nearly gave me a heart attack, ya did," Carson sputtered.

"I'm sorry, but it's John. He's torn his stitches."

Carson hurried to Sheppard's bedside. "Good God, man, you've made a right mess of this," he said as he got to work.

"Sorry, Carson," John said sheepishly as his friend worked. "I just... when I remembered the cave in I thought that..."

Carson nodded in understanding. "When I heard about that I thought the same, Colonel, but rest assured that everything is all right."

"How long am I going to be laid up here?"

The doctor smirked as if waiting for that question all along. "As long as it takes for the remaining antibiotics to go through. Two, three days tops. Now get some rest or you'll be in longer than that!"

John nodded. "Got it, Doc!"

When he was done, he gave them both stern looks. "Say your good byes Elizabeth. He needs rest and he's obviously not going to get it with you around."

Feeling very guilty, Elizabeth nodded. "Sorry, Carson, and sorry, John. You rest and heal up so you can be there when we use the machine. I'm not going to do it until you are well. Okay?"

*******

The two and half days went by slow for John, but soon he was up and about. Okay, so he wasn't doing any handsprings, but he was able to walk so that was good enough for him.

He smiled when Elizabeth appeared before him. "Would you like an escort for your big day?"

Elizabeth grinned. "Yes, I'd like that very much," she replied and fell into step beside him.

"You sure you're up for this? You still look like you're in a lot of pain," she commented. "Rodney assures me he has the process figured out but it'll take some time. There could be a lot of standing around and waiting."

John nodded, itching to hold her hand. "I want to be there for you. I don't care how long it takes for Rodney to set it up. Besides Teyla said she was going to have a chair set up for me -- Carson's orders and all that. I love you and want to be there for you."

"I love you, too. I'm so glad you'll be there." She smiled and wrung her hands fighting the urge to try to take hold of his. "John, I'm scared."

"Don't be scared, Elizabeth. You'll get through this and before you know it, you'll be in my arms," he said with smile and a wink. "Just don't rush to hug me too hard because Carson will kick your ass if you tear the stitches."

She couldn't help but laugh at that. "I'll keep that in mind." Calming herself as they approached the lab, she turned to John. "Right, let's get this show on the road."

Rodney looked up from a console as they entered. "Great timing guys, I have everything ready to go."

"John, if you will come with me," Teyla said, taking his arm.

"I'll see you soon," Elizabeth said as Teyla led him to a nearby chair.

"Okay, Rodney, what should I do?" Elizabeth asked.

"You'll need to revert to energy and go into the machine. Carson and I have cross-referenced all the medical data and DNA samples we had of yours. The machine is working on rebuilding you a healthy, nanite-free body as we speak. When these indicators flash green, your consciousness should be able to enter and voila! A brand new you."

"Okay, got it." Elizabeth went into the machine and waited. An eternity later she saw the signal.  _This is it,_  she said to herself as she traveled into the energy field surrounding her new body. The machine took over, guiding her body through the reintegration process.

Suddenly the world shifted, bright light surrounded her and there was pain -- excruciating pain. Blindly she flailed about, trying to make head or tails of what was happening. Voices came to her, thick, as if she was hearing them through water.

"Bloody hell! She's coding! Rodney, get out of the way!" Carson shouted.

"Easy, Sheppard, this was a possibility. Let Carson handle it," she heard Rodney say.

Then the world went dark. She swam in blackness, drifting aimlessly until finally she felt something... cold metal against her back. Her eyes fluttered open. The light was painful against them yet she didn't care, she had eyes again! She tried to sit up but a gentle hand on her shoulder halted the motion.

"Easy, lass, gonna take this body a little time to learn how to function," Carson said soothingly.

"John, I want to see John," she said weakly.

"Aye. Colonel, you can come back here now," Carson called. "C'mon, everyone clear out, give 'em a moment."

Teyla helped him over to Elizabeth and once everyone was gone, he took her hand in hers, kissing it softly. His other hand brushed a lock of hair from her face and before saying a word, he leaned down, ignoring the slight pull in his stitches, and kissed her on the lips. "Hey," he said, eyes shining happily. It was definitely a new look for him.

John's hand was a lifeline and his kiss was the breath of life to her. "Hey, yourself," she said, reaching up with a trembling hand to touch his face. Shakily, she sat up and rested her head on his shoulder. Being confined to a body again was going to take some getting used to. It was difficult to process the sensations to make her limbs move right but damned if it wasn't worth it. She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with the scent that was uniquely John. Laughing softly she felt tears of joy streaming down her face. "It worked. I'm here. I'm me." Her hand played through his hair. "I'm never gonna leave you again, John Sheppard. Ever."

"I'll hold you to that," John said, holding her close. "God, I've missed you so much!" The two remained that way for a few minutes until John pulled a bit away from her to kiss her lips again. They tasted so sweet.

When his lips found hers again she melted against him eagerly returning the kiss drawing it out languidly until she remembered John's injuries. "Missed you too, more than anything," she murmured. Pulling back a bit she smiled up at him. "Missed that too. You better take it easy though. Carson will kick both our asses if you pop a stitch." She cupped his face in her hands. "This feels like a dream. I can't believe it's real."

John leaned his forehead to touch hers. "As soon as I'm healed I want to show you how much I love you," he told her, kissing her again.

"I -- mmm -- look forward to that," Elizabeth gasped between kisses. Her head was spinning from all the sensations flooding her. For the first time in ages she felt alive. She was alive!

Carson discreetly cleared his throat. "I know the two of you are happy to see one another again. We're all happy to have Elizabeth back but you both need to settle down."

Elizabeth felt her face grow warm. Was she blushing? Geeze, it had been a while since she felt that. "I would say I'm sorry, Carson, but I'm not," she replied, her eyes never leaving John, her hands still holding his tightly.

Carson chuckled. "We need to get you to the infirmary to do a thorough check up and, Colonel, you need to rest."

"Aw, Carson," he said, finally tearing his eyes off Elizabeth. "You're no fun!"

"I won't be if I have to stitch you up again, son!"

The couple laughed. "Well, I'll walk her up if that's all right."

Carson knew he wasn't going to be able to convince either to be pushed in a wheelchair so he agreed. "You better be there within the next ten minutes or I'll send Ronon to carry you both up there!"

"Got it, Carson," John replied wit h a chuckle.

"Ten minutes," Elizabeth repeated and moved to slide off the table. She stopped short though when she realized all she was wearing was a blanket that had been wrapped around her. "Uh, one problem. Seems you don't come back clothed," she said sheepishly, feeling her cheeks heat all over again.

"That is why I brought these," Teyla said, placing a set of scrubs on the table next to her.

"Thank you, Teyla," She said and leaned forward to touch her forehead to Teyla's.

The other woman returned the gesture and smiled. "It is good to have you back, my friend."

"Good to be back," she replied.

Everyone cleared out so she could get dressed, everyone but John. She insisted on him staying, afraid that if she let him out of her sight, she would wake up to find all of this to be a dream. She chuckled as he chivalrously turned his back while she dressed and didn't bother to point out he'd seen it all before, because in a way he hadn't. This was a new body after all. "Okay, ready," she said, smiling as he turned around. Her legs were a bit wobbly and she had to hold on to the table for support. "I probably ought to hug the walls until I get my legs under me again."

"C'mere," John said, taking her into his arms and holding her, really holding her.

It felt so good to be held by John, tears sprang to Elizabeth's eyes. She refused to feel foolish about it. After all they had been through, they had both earned a few tears of joy.

After a moment, they broke apart. "We probably only have about seven minutes now," he said. "And with both of us walking slow, we'd better get going."

She held his hand all the way to the infirmary. That was another good thing about this new life; they no longer had to hide their feelings about one another.

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

Rodney was pacing back and forth in the infirmary. He wanted to make sure everything was all right with Elizabeth because if he screwed this up...

"Quit your pacing, Rodney, you're going to wear a hole in the floor."

"How can you be so calm, Carson?" he asked, then glanced at his watch. "What the hell is taking them so long! You said 10 minutes and that was nearly 15 minutes ago!"

Carson raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that two people who haven't been walking much in the last few days are walking together up here. That and I'm sure whoever passes by will want to say hello to Elizabeth. Of course, there's the fact that the two of them are in love.... Need I go on?"

"Shut up, Carson!" Rodney muttered.

John and Elizabeth chose that moment to enter the infirmary. "Did ya miss us?" he asked, grinning.

"Yes, I missed you. I mean no... whatever," Rodney sputtered. "I was just pointing out to Carson that letting two people who can barely walk loose in the city alone was a bad idea."

"We would have called if we needed help," Elizabeth said. She opened her mouth to tease Rodney but was struck speechless when he engulfed her in a tight hug.

"Jesus, it's good to have you back, Elizabeth," Rodney said. "If I hadn't -- if only. Look, it's my fault you were in that shape in the first place."

Finally they got Rodney calmed down and reassured him that no one, least of all Elizabeth, blamed him.

"Colonel, the tests are going to take a while, you may want to go back to your quarters and rest."

"You've got plenty of beds here, Carson," John pointed out.

Rodney and Carson shared a glance. "Oh, now you  _want_  to be in the infirmary!" Rodney threw his hands up in the air. "When that first building collapsed on you last year, you couldn't get out of here fast enough!"

"Rodney," John warned. It wasn't that he wasn't going to tell Elizabeth about the multitude of scrapes he'd been here since she was gone, but simply that she'd find out about them once she read the reports anyway. Besides, she had enough to worry about without thinking of the times he'd almost died.

Carson sighed, rubbing his temples. "Rodney, go! We'll call you if we need you for anything. Colonel, pull up a bed and, Elizabeth, come with me."

Several hours later, Carson pronounced her healthy and released her from his care. "I see no reason to keep you here. You will need some physical therapy to help get your muscles up to speed. Go easy, we'll get you up to full strength in no time."

Elizabeth thanked him and turned to John. "Walk me home handsome? I've had more than enough of this place for quite some time." Not to mention she was ready to change into some of her own clothes instead of infirmary scrubs.

"I hear you on that," John said with a grin, waving to Carson. He took her hand and they headed out into the hall. "So, your place th en because Teyla and Dr. Keller stopped by to see your mom to let her know we found you. She told me that she would know if you were gone which is why I sent them back. I would have gone myself, but I was trying to get the go ahead for all this..."

"Mom knows I'm okay?" Elizabeth perked up even more at this news. "I'm happy someone told her. I'm sure Teyla and Jennifer handled it admirably." She squeezed his hand. "As incredible as you are, even I know you can't be in two places at once." Smiling she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Where did they assign me quarters?" She asked secretly hoping they wouldn't be to far from his.

"Well, since it's been my job to assign quarters from the start, as per my first boss, I found one about two doors down from me that just happened to be empty," John replied, opening the door with a flourish.

"Sounds like your first boss was a smart lady," Elizabeth smirked. The minute she stepped into the room her expression change d to one of surprise.

Looking in the room, John noticed that Teyla and Jennifer had taken the time to collect some of the same items Elizabeth had had before she died... ascended... whatever. There was a vase of roses on the night stand and a card attached to it. The flowers been growing in the hydroponics bay and he was the first to snag some.

"Oh! I wasn't expecting this!" She wandered around, marveling at the personal items that had been arranged around the room. There was a picture of Sedgewick, her father's pocket watch, and her collection of Shakespeare. "John this is wonderful thank you. I--" She stopped when her eyes came to rest on the roses. A delighted smile lit up her face as she inhaled deeply of their fragrance. "They're beautiful" She said taking the card and opening it.

John stood there watching her face glow as she read the card. She was absolutely beautiful. She put her delicate fingers to her lips as she read. In the card he had written,  _Elizabeth, these roses are for you to let you know how much I love you and how much I missed you. I will always be there for you and my love will never die._

Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Oh, John," her voice wavered slightly. "This -- all of this -- is so wonderful. I'd dreamed so many times of coming home, of coming back to you. All those dreams pale in comparison to reality." Elizabeth threw her arms around him and kissed him deeply. "I love you so much," she murmured when they came up for air.

John held her close. He didn't think he could stay apart from her for even a second. "Um, I don't know about you, but I could use some company tonight." His eyes widened he realized how that sounded. "No, I mean! I don't mean that we should... I just...didn't want to be alone," John added.

Elizabeth chuckled. "I knew what you meant and I agree. Company sounds wonderful. I've been alone for far too long." She snuggled into his embrace, happy for the mome nt to be held. She found that even in the safety of his arms, she was feeling a bit lightheaded and disoriented. Elizabeth frowned as Carson had pronounced her healthy. Suddenly her stomach rumbled. "Uh, I guess I'm hungry. It's been so long I forgot what it felt like," she said sheepishly.

John laughed too, kissing her lips. "Why don't you get ready for bed and I'll get something for you to eat?" he suggested. He didn't tell her that he already had something prepared for her. The kitchen staff was more than willing to help out.

"That sounds good." Elizabeth gave him one more hug then gathered up her sleepwear and headed into the bathroom. She panicked for a second before looking in the mirror. What if she didn't recognize herself? Relief washed over her as she saw her reflection. She was herself again. It took her a while to change as she got so caught up in looking herself over making sure everything was as it should be. All the scars from her previous life we re gone, but everything else was the same.

When she finally stepped out of the bathroom she was dressed in pair of soft flannel pajama pants, a tank top, and a zip up hoodie. "Sorry it took so long. I'm getting used to being myself again," Elizabeth said with a grin.

"That's all right, " John said, now dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants. He was standing in front of a cart that the chef brought over. "You look as beautiful as I remember. Come here." Soon, Elizabeth was in his arms again and he kissed her. "Why don't you sit down and I'll show you what we have here?" Once she sat, he opened the containers to reveal various favorites of Elizabeth's.

Elizabeth was surprised to find that John not only had dinner waiting, but that the dinner consisted of all of her favorite dishes, right down to chocolate chip cheesecake, her favorite dessert. She reached across the table and took his hand. "You are truly the most thoughtful man alive to go to all this trouble f or me." It had been a long time since she felt so loved and welcomed. "Thank you for this-- for everything. It's good to be home."

John kissed her hand and Elizabethâ€™s heart skipped a beat at the feel of his lips on her skin. "Anything for you, Elizabeth. I want to make up for all that lost time. Dig in!" he said with a smile. He watched her eat, taking slow delicate bites. John's eyes strayed to her lips as she bit into a strawberry.

The food was amazing. Eating was like a new experience for her and she savored each bite. "Everything is so delicious. I had forgotten what a pleasure it was to enjoy a meal like this." She looked up and blushed when she found John watching her; he was even more handsome than she remembered and it made her happy to see him smiling and carefree. "Of course, the company makes it much nicer."

John blinked when he realized he'd been staring. "Uh, sorry," he replied.

"It's okay. I can only imagine how strange this is for yo u," Elizabeth said with a smile.

"So, how's everything taste?" he asked, wanting to hear everything.

"Everything is great! Especially these strawberries. They're so sweet and juicy. Here.." She held one of the plump berries to his lips. "Taste."

"Far from strange," John said as he accepted the berry. It was very delicious and he found himself licking the juice from her fingertips. "Delicious," he told her with a smile

Elizabeth bit her lip as John removed the juice from her skin. Delicately she traced his lips with her fingertips. "You're a very special man, John Sheppard. How did I get so lucky?" she asked, leaning across the table to kiss him gently.

John closed his eyes while she kissed him. When he opened them he said, "I don't even know how or why you think I'm so special," he said. He couldn't believe how much of a teenager he felt like right now either.

"Oh, there are at least a dozen reasons, maybe more. I've never counted them up. " Elizabeth gave him a coy look as she sat back and sipped her water. "Your sense of duty and honor, your loyalty, your determination, those gorgeous hazel eyes... Those are just a few of them."

John smirked. "Oh, that," he said waving his hand to dismiss it all. "Yeah, I guess you are pretty lucky, but I am too." He walked around to the other side of the table and knelt down in front of her John's hands caressed her face. "You're smart, beautiful, and don't take any nonsense. You love me despite all my faults, and there are many," he added with a chuckle.

"Nonsense." Elizabeth leaned into his touch. "You know how picky I am. Do you think I would fall this hard for just anyone?" She kissed him softly and ran her fingers through his hair.

John brought his lips to hers again and it became much more passionate than he had anticipated. His hands moved to the small of her back, pulling her closer. After several long minutes they reluctantly pulled apart. "I'm so rry, Elizabeth," he said, looking away. He didn't want to push her. He had to be certain that they wanted the same thing. "I shouldn't have done that."

Elizabeth gave John a dazed look as he pulled away. She scooted closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I wasn't complaining," she said gently. "I just don't want to push things because of your injuries. I want to be with you John, more than anything. What I don't want is for you to tear your stitches or end up back in the infirmary. I've waited two years for you to be able to touch me. I can wait until you're well." She caressed his cheek and smiled.

"I want to be with you, too," he replied softly. "Damn Wraith and their need to blow shit up!"

Elizabeth chuckled at that.

"It's getting late, why don't we get to bed? Carson said he was going to check on us around 0900 which means we'll need to be at least just waking up by then."

"That sounds good. I can think of nothing better than falling asleep in your arms." Elizabeth replied, nuzzling his cheek. "We definitely want to stay on Carson's good side."

The couple settled in bed, wrapped in each others arms and were both sound asleep the moment their heads hit the pillow.

After a check up from Carson in the morning, they were able to roam the city and Elizabeth had been able to visit with many of her friends. There was even a welcome home party for her in the mess hall. She was overwhelmed by the warm welcome she was given. It made her wonder why she ever questioned returning to Atlantis. This truly was her home.

The days went by and she grew stronger. The physical therapy Carson prescribed helped and in no time she was up approaching full strength. John was healing as well and Elizabeth was thrilled to see a smile on his face more often than not.

The forth day after her return brought more good news. "So, I hear Carson said the stitches can come out today," she said to John o ver breakfast.

"Yeah," he said with a grin. "I'll be heading there after breakfast. Woolsey's in a video conference with the President right now so we should have an answer as to what's going to happen. He seems to think we'll be happy with the news." John was thrilled he could finally get those stitches out. It had been hard the last few days not to jog with Ronon or get in any exercise time. He had to admit that he'd been feel flabbier since before his injury. Then, of course, there was Elizabeth. He had been wanting to truly show her how much she meant to him, even with her still getting reacquainted with, well, everything.

"I have a meeting with Woolsey later too. If we get to stay he wants me to for a team of linguists to help go over all the information found in that data cache on the planet." Elizabeth smiled at the thought. It would be good to get back to work. "So what do you think the odds are of Atlantis being allowed to stay in Pegasus?" she asked.

"I personally think they're pretty good," John replied. "I mean, if they didn't want Atlantis to stay here, I don't think they'd have allowed us to use the ZPM's power supply just to get that device. They would have just sent us on the Apollo or something."

"That makes sense. I have to say, I have a very good feeling about it," Elizabeth agreed. "I know your schedule is pretty full now that Carson's clearing you for duty, but I was hoping we could have dinner together tonight." She was also planning a little surprise for John in her quarters afterward.

John nodded. "Since I don't officially start back to work until tomorrow, after the meeting, I'm all yours," he replied with a wink.

Elizabeth grinned. "I like the sound of that." She pushed back from the table. "We'd better get moving. Carson will be looking for you if you're not in the infirmary soon and Teyla's back from New Athos. I have a bantos lesson scheduled with her; it's part of my physical therapy."

John stood and the two went to throw out their garbage. As they left the mess hall, they kissed and parted in opposite directions. When he arrived in the infirmary, Carson was in his office finishing up some paperwork.

"Ah, Colonel!" he said with a smile. "All ready, I see."

"Hell yeah, Doc!"

About an hour later, John was talking to Woolsey about his meeting with the President. "So he's agreed to us staying out here?" John asked.

Woolsey nodded. "On the outskirts of the Pegasus Galaxy. He wants us to concentrate on translating the Ancient database from the planet where the device was stored."

"And Elizabeth?"

"She's welcome to stay here and help in the translation," Woolsey replied with a smile. "Oh, and there is the matter of your relationship."

John's eyebrow raised. "Our relationship?"

Woolsey had to smile. "You don't have anything to worry about, Colonel. Everyone is quite comfortable with the situation so we hope you both will be too."

"Thanks, that means a lot," John said, returning the smile.

********

Elizabeth had only told John half of what her morning plans involved. After their lesson, Teyla helped her make preparations for the evening.

"I don't know why I'm so nervous," Elizabeth said to Teyla with a laugh.

"Perhaps it is more excitement than nerves. I, too, was eager to spend time with Kanaan after such a prolonged separation." Teyla smiled. "John is thrilled to have you back. I have not seen him smile this much since..." Teyla corrected herself before she mentioned the mission to Asuras, "in a very long time."

Elizabeth was further heartened by her meeting with Woolsey. She would be given provisional status as a member of the Expedition, pending a trip to Earth for to be reinstated as an IOA employee and diplomat. Once that happened, she would be allowed to form a team of linguists and negotiators that would serve as translators a nd ambassadors in Pegasus.

"So we will be allowed to return to that galaxy?"

Woolsey shrugged. "Officially, it's up in the air. Off the record, I'd say it's better than an eighty percent chance. The promise of the technology that cache holds is too great for either the IOA or the military to ignore. Mark my words, if you all uncover the location of even more Ancient tech, returning permanently to Pegasus will be a given."

"Then I guess I better get on those translations," Elizabeth said.

Woolsey nodded. "Indeed." He cleared his throat. "I've already spoken to Colonel Sheppard about this so I feel it only fair to mention it to you as well. I'm not one to pry into the personal lives of the personnel here, but the way you feel about one another isn't exactly a secret."

"Oh? Is that a problem?" Elizabeth's eyebrow quirked in challenge. "May I remind you, I'm no longer his boss and I'm a civilian."

Woolsey put up his hands to protest. "You misu nderstand me. It's no problem. I don't believe either of you will allow your relationship to compromise your work. I merely wanted to wish you both the best."

"Oh." Elizabeth ducked her head sheepishly. "Thank you, Richard, the sentiment is appreciated. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for a date."

The rest of the afternoon was spent in preparation for the evening. Elizabeth took great care in getting ready for the evening, including her clothes, makeup, and hair. She wanted everything to be perfect and, not for the first time, she was grateful her friends had kept so many of her things in storage. She hoped John would appreciate her efforts. There was no doubt they still had that spark between them, but it had been a long time since they had been together.

 


	11. Chapter 11

After a long day of approving requests to return to Earth, as well as a surprising number to join them in Atlantis, John stopped first at his own quarters to change his clothes then headed to Elizabeth's quarters. He chimed the door and waited for her to answer.

Her mouth went dry as she heard the chime and she smoothed her hands over her dress. It was red with spaghetti straps and golden bead work along the bodice. She had a shawl thrown over her shoulders and red heels to match. She'd bought this dress on her last trip to Earth before her accident and she hadn't had the chance to wear it for John... until now. Elizabeth smiled as she opened the door. "Hey, you look great."

John was speechless as he entered the room. There were no words to describe her beauty right now. "You too," he finally said after a few minutes. He pulled her close for a kiss. Once they broke for air, he looked around the room. "Smells good."

The look in John's e yes made her insides flutter. It was amazing how beautiful he could make her feel without saying a word. "Me or dinner?" Elizabeth teased as she took his hand and led him over to the small table set up near the window.

"Both," John replied with a goofy grin. God, it felt so good to be here with Elizabeth. It felt like old times.

The light from candles on the table and around the room provided a warm glow. Soft music played in the background, Rodney had graciously loaned her his speakers and Elizabeth had 'borrowed' John's iPod for the occasion.   
John held out her chair for her and she smiled. "I had the cooks prepare your favorite dinner," she said as she poured them both a glass of the wine Teyla brought her from New Athos. "To us and a new beginning," she said, holding her glass up in a toast.

"To us and a new beginning," John repeated, taking a sip of the wine. "Wow, between you and this great dinner I don't know what to choose first."

"You do n't have to choose, Colonel. You get to have both," Elizabeth winked and offered him a forkful of food. When he took the bite she smiled. "Shall we continue or would you rather skip straight to dessert?" she asked, shooting him a playful look.

John grinned. "Well, one usually needs strength for dessert," he said as Elizabeth nodded in agreement and the two dug into the meal. "Did you talk with Woolsey?" he asked.

"Yes, I did. I'm back on the payroll, only provisionally until I return to Earth for reinstatement with the IOA. Woolsey's working out the details of that," Elizabeth said. "He seems fairly confident that Atlantis will be allowed to permanently return to Pegasus and that I will be allowed to stay on indefinitely." She reached over and squeezed John's hand. "When I go back to Earth, I'd like you to come with me."

John nodded as he poured them both another glass of wine. "Are you going to see your mom?" he asked curiously.

"Yes, I would like to see her as soon as possible. I can only imagine what she's been through worrying about me." A pang of sadness stabbed at her heart. "I know you visited her several times after I went missing, Teyla told me," Elizabeth said. "Thank you for that. It makes me feel better knowing she had you."

He smiled. "I did. She's an amazing woman. I spent a few days with her. I... kinda hit a rough spot there for a minute," John admitted, looking at his plate.

She hesitated for a moment then looked back up at John. "Would you go with me when I visit her? It's not going to be easy to explain this to her with all the security protocols. I could use the support."

"Yes, I'd love to come with you. I kinda grew fond of her," he said with a sheepish grin, still not looking up.

Elizabeth took his hand in hers and brought it to her lips to kiss the back of it gently. "Hey look at me," she said, her eyes meeting John's as he did what she asked. "Let me rephrase that: I'm glad you had each other. John, I know I hurt you when I stayed behind on Asuras and I'm sorry. I tried so hard to get back to you, I hope you know that." Elizabeth searched his eyes.

"Not a day passed that I didn't think of you. It's what got me through and gave me hope." She blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. "I hate myself for putting you through that and I promise you, I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I love you and I'm here for as long as you will have me," Elizabeth said earnestly.

John cleared his throat feeling like an idiot for making her feel bad about the situation. Besides, he knew if their positions had been reversed, he would have done the same thing; it's part of the job. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything about it. I know you did what you had to do and I love you all the more for it..."

"No, you were right to mention it. I want you to always feel free to say what's on your mind," Elizabeth interrupted unapologetically.

"All right," he answered, his charming, crooked smile gracing his face for a moment. "I tried everyday to find you, almost did a few times."

"I never doubted you were searching for me. I know you too well," Elizabeth reassured him, squeezing his hand.

"I want to be with you for the rest of our lives, Elizabeth," John declared, looking up into her eyes so that she could see how serious he was.

Her heart stopped then sped up at his words. She swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled. "I want that, too, John, more than anything." She leaned over and kissed him soundly. "From this moment on, let's not worry about the past, only about our future together."

John accepted the kiss readily. When she moved to sit back down, he smiled. "Definitely. No more dwelling in the past unless it's something fun. I seem to recall a certain boss of mine entranced by a guy named Lucius..."

"Now, you know very well I was under t he influence. Otherwise I wouldn't have given him a second look." Elizabeth did her best to look indignant. "Maybe you would like a reminder of why our dear friend Rodney refers to you as Captain Kirk?"

"Oh! Haha! Well, I'll have you know that none of those counted because..." he trailed off trying to think of a good reason, but he really couldn't. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

Elizabeth blushed furiously. "Since you're so charming I'll let you off the hook... this time." She ducked her head then glanced up at John. "You certainly make me feel beautiful when you look at me like that."

"That was the point," John said with a smile. "So... can I have dessert yet?" he asked.

"I was hoping you'd ask that." Elizabeth felt a bit giddy as she got up. Her heart was racing as she walked around the table. Hopefully, John wouldn't notice how her hand shook as she held it out to him. "Come with me." She smiled as John allowed himself to be pulled up and led o ver to the bed. Candles were burning on the nightstand and Elizabeth had sprinkled petals from some of the roses on the sheets. "I love you," she murmured as she drew him into her arms for a soul searing kiss.

John returned the kiss with passion. "I love you, too, Elizabeth," he said as he trailed smaller kisses down her neck.

She gasped at the feel of his lips on her skin and melted against him. "It's been a long time... too long," Elizabeth whispered. Her hands drifted down his back. Sliding them around to the front she began to undo the buttons on his shirt. "I missed you."

He shrugged out of his shirt. "Way too long," he replied as he tugged the straps from her shoulders, the dress falling to the floor in a flutter.

"Never in this body," Elizabeth said with a coy smile.

His lips kissed the top of her breasts that were secured in her strapless bra.

She ran her hand through his hair as he kissed the sensitive skin of her chest. "Oh, John ," she gasped, her free hand snaking between them to unbuckle his belt.

"Think we need to get rid of this..." he said as he deftly unclasped the offending object. It fell to the floor with her dress. John's mouth was on her perfect right nipple as his thumb teased the other. He helped her remove his pants and gently laid her on the bed. He straddled her, at attention and ready as he continued to suckle her nipples. John then kissed her, his tongue asking for an invitation. "Elizabeth..." he gasped out.

Eagerly her lips parted, her tongue rolling against his as one hand wrapped around him to slowly stroke his length. Her free hand tangled in his hair, playing with the short hairs at the nape of his neck while their mouths devoured one another.   
"Mmm, baby," Elizabeth gasped between kisses. "You feel so good." She was on fire for him, her body arching into his touch.

His hips moved to meet hers as they gyrated together, causing unbelievably wonderful fri ction. John's hand made his way to her all ready wet panties and he began to rub her with his index finger as he slowly kissed down the length of her body. The gentle motions of his fingers elicited a stilted whimper from her throat. She kissed and touched every part of him she could reach. God it felt so good ... his touch.... his kiss. Slowly her hips began to cant against him. Elizabeth moaned loudly as his lips moved down her body. "Please, John I need you."

John needed no further urging as he pulled her panties off then kicked off his boxers. He gently nudged her thighs apart with his knees, rubbing the tip of his cock along her clit.

Elizabeth bit her lip as he teased her sending pleasurable shock waves through her. This was even more intense than she remembered but in a good way.

He didn't want to hurt her so he tenderly eased himself into her. She was tight around him and his eyes rolled back as he slowly, oh so slowly, pushed in. "Elizabeth?" he ga sped, waiting for her confirmation.

Her breath was stolen as he entered her, both from the sensation and the careful way John handled her. She reached up and cupped his face, her eyes locking with his. "Yes, John, I'm ready," she whispered, wrapping her arms and legs around him urging him closer.

John began to move carefully, filling her completely. She felt good and hot around him as he pumped. "God, Elizabeth!" he gasped out, as he leaned down to kiss her hungrily.

Elizabeth relaxed, exhaling slowly as he pushed in. It was almost too much but not quite and she clung to him as he began to move. "Oh yes," she hissed, her hips rolling up to meet his thrusts. "Feels so, so good." Every nerve in her body was tingling and alive; she could feel the heat beginning to coil low in her belly.

John could feel himself ready to burst so he deftly adjusted them so he was lying on his back and Elizabeth could take control. Besides, he wanted to see her beautiful br easts move and watch as she came. "Mmmmm, that's it! Yes!"

Elizabeth moaned in delight as John rolled them over. Splaying out her hands, she rubbed them over his chest, gently mapping out the scar and muscle as she rocked atop him. "God, John, love you." She leaned down, crushing her mouth to his in a kiss so primal and full of need it left her lips feeling puffy and bruised. A sharp desperate sound passed her lips. He was thrusting up as she pushed down and the effect was quite amazing. She tossed her head back, hips moving feverishly, using every trick she knew to give them both as much sensation as possible. Her fingertips walked down to where they were joined, her index finger snaking out to tease her clit in time with their movements. "Oh, baby, close... so close..." she panted.

John thrust harder as he watched her. "Love you too, Lizabeth," he gasped out. "Come with me, angel, come with me. Oh, God, you feel so good!"

The way his hands gripped her hip s, so possessive yet so tender drove her even higher. She trembled, release slowly overtaking her. The desperate edge in John's voice was what broke her. "Oh, John... gonna... uh..." Her head flew back and she went rigid, a low, lusty moan torn from her throat. Once the trembling subsided, she pitched forward collapsing against him even as her hips still moved begging him with her body to join her in bliss.

John arched his back, forcing himself deeper into her, if that was even possible, as he came. "Ohhh.... God, yes!" he exclaimed as he felt her clenching around him. Elizabeth leaned down to kiss him, even as John remained inside her. "I love you so much," he said after the kiss.

Sighing dreamily, Elizabeth rested her forehead against his. "I love you too. More than I have words to express." Playfully, she slid her nose along side his. Her lips found his once more and she circled her hips, smiling as she felt him twitch inside her. "That was wonderful. Best. De ssert. Ever," she said punctuating the last words with kisses.

John nodded in agreement. "Definitely, we should have it more often," he replied, grinning and brushing the hair from his eyes.

Elizabeth laughed softly. "I agree. Once, maybe even twice a day at least." She leaned into his touch and pressed a gentle kiss to the palm of his hand. Reluctantly, she rolled off him; she didn't want to aggravate any of John's injuries. Happily, she curled up at his side and rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for loving me, John Sheppard. I don't know what I'd do without you."

John wrapped a blanket around them, holding her close. "Same here, Elizabeth," he replied.

Elizabeth sighed in contentment and snuggled into John's embrace. Her fingertips danced across his chest, swirling through the thick hair there. "Hmmm, it's so nice to be here with you like this," she murmured.   
For a long while they remained wrapped in one another's arms, trading soft kisses and caresses. They talked and laughed, John telling her a bit about his life while she was gone. Elizabeth knew him well enough to know he had edited the account heavily to spare her feelings. That was okay, this was their moment. There would be plenty of time to deal with the more unpleasant things in life. Smiling, she kissed him again, this time a little deeper and a bit more insistent. John whispered something about lost time and they both laughed softly as he rolled her over and began kissing down her body. It was late before they slept, sated and happy, their bodies tangled tightly together. Elizabeth drifted off to sleep, secure in the certainty that here with John was where she belonged.

John had never slept better than he did that night. He woke up feeling content and very happy. He glanced down at Elizabeth as she slept. She was like an angel. No, not like an angel, she was an angel. She was sent back to him so he wouldn't be alone. Of course, he was n ever truly alone with his friends, but without Elizabeth there, John had always felt incomplete. He glanced at the clock and realized he had to get up to the briefing room to discuss the next location for Atlantis to live; Rodney had said there had been enough power to stay in space for at least a month, but they didn't want to press their luck with that.


	12. Chapter 12

Two days later John and Elizabeth were on Earth, standing on the front porch of Patricia Weir's home. John held Elizabeth's hand as she rang the doorbell.

Patricia opened the door. John had already spoken with her on the phone because he didn't want her to faint at the sight of her previously assumed dead daughter even if she had believed Elizabeth was still alive. "Oh, my baby girl!" Patricia gasped out, tears in her eyes as she held her arms out.

Elizabeth fell into her mother's arms. "Mom, you look great. I've missed you so much." Tears were flowing freely now as mother and daughter clung to one another.

"My precious girl," Patricia murmured. "How I've missed you. I'm so happy you're safe." She looked over her daughter's shoulder at John. "I knew you'd bring her back to me. Thank you."

John waved his hand as if it were nothing. "Your daughter can be very persistent when she wants to be," he said with a smile.

"That she can be," she replied, as she pulled John in to join their hug. She knew he had had just as bad a time without Elizabeth as she did. She clearly remembered the day he came to her after he was told he could no longer search for her.

Elizabeth smiled as her mother drew John into their hug. At last, her family was complete. She could sense an understanding between her mother and John. She knew they had bonded in her absence and she was hoping to have some time during their visit to speak to her mother about him.

Patricia released them and wiped her eyes. "You two come on in here. I have some coffee made and you can tell me how Elizabeth came back to us. Well, as much as you are allowed to tell anyway." Patricia was more than used to her daughter's life involving top secret, classified material. "Before we sit down though, there's someone out back who will be very happy to see you, Elizabeth." Her mother grinned.

Elizabeth's eyes lit up. "You have Sedgewick her e?" At her mother's affirmative nod she took off for the back door. Soon she was hugging and patting a very excited bundle of fur. "Hey girl! Miss me? I sure missed you." Sedge twisted and turned, trying her best to lick both her and John. The dog's fondness for him was obvious. "This is a nice surprise. I wasn't expecting to see Sedge."

"Well," Patricia said, glancing at John, who nodded. She knew that meeting Simon for the first time had been an uncomfortable experience for him. "John went to see Simon about bringing Sedge here."

Elizabeth looked over at him and he shrugged. "I thought that maybe staying with your mom, she might still feel connected to you. Although, I have to admit I think Sedge knew just as well as your mom that you were coming back to us."

Before Elizabeth could reply, John's cell phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID to see it was the SGC. "I gotta take this," he said. "Excuse me."

Elizabeth watched speechlessly as John walked away. "He's an extraordinary young man," Patricia said. "I couldn't ask for a better protector for my daughter."

"He is pretty special," Elizabeth agreed, still a bit blown away that John went to see Simon for her. "It's why I love him."

"I know dear and John loves you. He was shattered when they ordered him to stop looking for you," Patricia said. "He refused to give up even though it almost broke him."

Elizabeth's heart ached for him. "I'm glad you had each other."

"And I'm glad you have John. He'll make a fine son-in-law," Patricia grinned.

"One day maybe, don't push him, Mom. John hasn't had the best experience in that area. I'm just happy to be with him on his terms."

Her mother waved a dismissive hand. "If you say so, dear. I'm just happy you've met someone who shares your dreams and love of adventure. Simon was too old for you, anyway."

Elizabeth shook her head. It was no secret Patricia had never been keen on Simon. "Well I, for one, am glad you approve." She gave her mom a hug. "It's so good to be home."

"It's good to have you here," Patricia replied. "Now, let's go get the coffee so when John gets back, you can sit down and tell me where you've been and what happened."

Elizabeth nodded and followed her mother into the kitchen. Even with the limited security clearance Patricia had been granted, it would be tricky.

John ended his call and found Elizabeth and her mother at the table. â€œThat was the SGC, theyâ€™ve given a Level 3 clearance to Patricia. We can settle up the paperwork on the way back.â€

â€œLevel 3, huh? That should make things a bit easier." Elizabeth took John's hand as he sat down. "Something else I have to be thankful to you for?" she asked with a grin. She wasn't sure what strings John had pulled, but she was glad he'd pulled them.

Once they were all settled around the table, Elizabeth launched into the best explanation she could muster. Several times her voice faltered, some of the details, even censored, were hard to deal with. Each time she wavered, John took up the story, carrying the thread until Elizabeth had recovered enough to pick it up again. The whole time he did not let go of her hand.

"Eventually, John's team found me. I wasn't exactly myself but with the proper treatment I was made well enough to come home. And here I am, back safe and sound," Elizabeth concluded.

Patricia dabbed at her eyes as Elizabeth reached the end of the tale. "John was never able to tell me much, but I got the impression you had been taken prisoner." She reached over and touched Elizabeth's cheek. "I was so worried about you but I know how strong you are. I knew you would survive."

"I am your daughter, aren't I?" Elizabeth hugged Patricia tight. "Dad always said I got my tenacity from you."

Her mother laughed. "That was just his way of politely saying we are hard-headed." She kissed Elizabeth on the foreh ead. "Whatever the reason, you're resilient. We didn't give up hope did we, John? Not even when it looked bleak."

"Not for a second," John replied with a smile, kissing Elizabeth's hand. She smiled as she got to her feet, excused herself politely with a half muttered reason.

Once she was gone, Patricia gave John's hand a pat. "Dear, I really am grateful for all you've done for Elizabeth. Her father would have been proud to know you."

"I'm grateful to know her, Patricia," John replied. "There's actually something I've been wanting to ask you."

"Yes, dear?"

"I love Elizabeth. So completely and so fully. I wanted to ask your permission to spend the rest of my life with her."

Patricia smiled, tears pooling in her eyes. "I just knew this day would come, John," she said, reaching into the pocket of her apron and handing him a velvet box.

"What's this?" he asked.

"My engagement ring," she told him. "It also belonged to my mother. It's been passed down for years to each generation and it would please me if you would give this to Elizabeth."

John nodded as he opened the box. It was beautiful. "I will, thank you, Patricia."

She patted his cheek. "Thank you, John. Now, I want you to plan a nice evening with her and give it to her then, all right?"

"I will, but honestly, I don't know how much longer I can wait," John said with smile.

***********

Elizabeth had to take a few moments to compose herself. Though it hadn't been as difficult as sheâ€™d expected, the ordeal had taken a lot out of her. Thank God John had been there with her. She washed her face, dried it, and took a deep breath. Time to get back to her mother and John.

They had obviously been conspiring over something during her absence because they were both grinning like the proverbial cat that had eaten the canary.

"Did I miss something?" she asked as she sat back down.

"Nothing dear. We were just tal king about how happy we are to have you back home," Patricia said. "How long will you be staying?"

"A couple of days if that's all right," Elizabeth said.

"Of course it's all right! And John, you're staying, too. I won't take no for an answer. I have Elizabeth's old room upstairs ready for the both of you."

Elizabeth was a bit surprised. In the past, her mother hadn't encouraged her boyfriends to stay here, much less stay in the same room, but she wasn't complaining. Not that they would be doing anything more than sleeping, she didn't think she could get into the mood knowing her mother was right down the hall.

They chatted for a while and Patricia found John to be the perfect audience for all those embarrassing childhood stories of Elizabeth's. She happily regaled him as they prepared dinner, ate, and on through the clean up.

Finally Elizabeth needed a break. "I'm going to take Sedge for a walk. Care to join me?" she asked John. He nodded and s tood up.

The pair had been walking hand in hand for almost ten minutes in companionable silence when John finally spoke up. "I didn't tell your mom this, but I'm pretty sure she already knows. The last time I was here to see her, to tell her the search had been called off... I almost believed myself that you were really gone." There, he had said it.

Elizabeth nodded. She had suspected that was what was on John's mind. Stopping, she turned to him, her hand drifting up to cup his cheek. "She didn't say it in so many words, but I got the idea." Searching his eyes, she smiled. "John, it's okay. Under the circumstances, what else could you think? A lesser man would have given up hope long before it came to that."

He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. Elizabeth and his friends were all the family he had left. After that whole mess that had occurred while he was supposed to be at his dad's wake, his brother decided John wasn't worth his effort, no matte r how much their dad had wanted to reconcile with him. John took a deep breath. "I know you won't think itâ€™s necessary, but I am sorry for it."

"If it will give you some peace, I accept your apology, even though it's truly not necessary." Elizabeth wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. "John, you have proven time and again that you would move heaven and earth for me. What more could you expect of yourself?" she asked softly. "I could ask for no more than what you give, and most of the time, I'm not even sure I deserve that."

John placed a kiss on her forehead. "Oh you definitely do," he responded. She just about melted when John's lips touched her forehead. He then realized that Elizabeth's left arm, the one holding Sedge's leash, was being yanked. The couple had stopped walking. John chuckled. "I guess we should get moving, huh?"

Sedge barked in response to John's question and Elizabeth had to laugh. "Guess we should!" They started back tow ard her mother's house. "John, thanks for getting Sedge for me. I'm glad mom had her to keep her company." She smiled and reached down to pet the dog. "I never expected to see her again. It was a nice surprise." She was already trying to think of a way to pay John back. Going to visit her ex was above and beyond the call of duty.

"Not a problem. I admit that Simon and I almost came to blows, but his wife was actually pretty nice about it all. She said that she was pregnant and she just wasn't ready to have an animal in the house even though she loved Sedge and knew she would be all right around a baby." John bit his lower lip, trying to gauge the look on her face. "I'm sorry, I shouldnâ€™t have mentioned all of that."

Queasiness settled in her gut. Family and children had been a point of contention with her and Simon. She swallowed and shook her head. "No, it's okay. Karen is a good person, she used to be my best friend, you know, back -- well, back before At lantis." Elizabeth smiled at John. "If I had wanted that kind of life with Simon then I wouldn't be here now with you, would I?" she asked. "No regrets. Though I have to admit, I would like to have a child of our own one day." Elizabeth studied John's face to see how he would react. "That is, if it's something you want, too."

A smile lit up John's face. "It is something I want. I want a beautiful little girl with her mother's eyes and brown curls. I want an adorable little boy who wants to learn a hundred languages."

His response made her heart do a happy little flip flop. "And that little boy will have his father's charm and unruly hair," Elizabeth laughed softly. "I could think of no better father for my children. I'm so happy you want that, too." Truly, John had made her day. Sedge bumped her and yipped. "You'd like that, too, huh girl? Having a little buddy to play with?" Today had been amazing one, of the best ever and her mood reflected it.

Sedge b arked again and John laughed. "Maybe we can get started on that when we get back to Atlantis," he said with a mischievous grin. Besides, there were many other details he needed to iron out when he got there.

"I think that's a great idea." Elizabeth replied. Finally, they could have the life together they had only dreamed of. It made her giddy to think it was so close to a reality. Playfully, she bumped John's hip with hers. "Race you to the porch." Before he could respond, she and Sedge took off at full speed.

John laughed chasing after them. "Hey ladies, no fair!" Sedge barked happily as John met them on the porch. "That's cheating," he told Elizabeth as he pulled her close for a kiss.

Her laughter joined his but it was muffled by his kiss. "You call it cheating, I call it a strategic decision," she teased, ruffling her fingers through his hair. Pulling him down to her, she kissed him again tenderly. "I love you."


	13. Chapter 13

 

John and Elizabeth had been back on Atlantis for three days after spending some time with Patricia and Sedge. Now he was working with Teyla, setting up one of the family-sized quarters for them to live in. This room had a huge, expansive balcony and the Athosian had set up candles along the shelves and various places in the room. Incense was burning and there were pillows and blankets splayed on the balcony floor. Beside the blanket was an ice bucket, complete with a bottle of champagne and a plate of chocolate covered strawberries.

John had just finished dressing in his black slacks and a blue silk, button down shirt. He knew how much Elizabeth loved the way he looked in it. Nodding at everything, he thanked Teyla who smiled and left the room. About five minutes later, the chime rang.

***********

It had taken less red tape than she had anticipated to get back on the IOA payroll. In fact, the process had been almost pleasant. On ce they had returned to Atlantis, she had been busy putting together her team and learning what duties would be expected of her. Elizabeth had to admit that as she and John settled into a life together, that she was happy for once not to be in charge. Life in Atlantis was much more enjoyable that way.

That being said, John had been acting strangely the past few days. He was jittery and she couldn't figure out why. The mystery deepened when she received a message to meet him in the far end of the living area. Elizabeth loved surprises so she went with it, pausing only to stop by her quarters to change into something more fashionable than her duty uniform.

She smiled when John answered the door. That blue shirt he was wearing was one of her favorites. â€œWell hello, handsome,â€ she said, stepping inside. "What's all this?" Elizabeth asked, smiling as she took in the candlelit room and the open balcony door. "Have you been house hunting for us?"

J ohn smiled, returning the kiss. "You could say that," he replied as he took her hand and led her to the balcony.

Elizabeth smiled as he led her out to the balcony. "It's a very nice place and that's an awesome view."

He smiled as he had her sit down and poured her a glass of champagne, not too full because he had the ring in it. Before he handed the glass to her, he sat down next to her. She was too beautiful for words. Finally, he handed her the glass. "To us," he said, clinking the glasses together. He took a sip and waited with anticipation.

"Oh, thank you," she said taking the glass he offered her. "To us!" she returned the toast and took a sip. She was about to take another when she caught sight of something in the bottom of her glass. Holding it up to the light, she examined it. Her breath caught when she realized it was a ring. Not just any ring, it was her mother's ring, the one that had belonged to her grandmother. "Oh, John! Is that wha t I think it is?" Elizabeth was nearly speechless. Could this be  _it_?

"It is, Elizabeth," he said, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. He felt like a schoolboy on his first date. John took her free hand in both of his and said, "Elizabeth Weir, I love you so completely and I can't live another minute in this life without you as my wife and the future mother of my children. Will you marry me?"

Tears sprang to her eyes and a lump formed in her throat. For several seconds, all she could do was nod dumbly. Finally, she found her voice. "Yes, most definitely yes, I will marry you, John Sheppard," she said. "Nothing would make me happier." Her lips found his and she kissed him long and slow, expressing without words all she was feeling.

John kissed her back, relishing all the emotions pouring out of her. He had never felt more loved, more needed, than at that moment. When they finally parted, he reached into Elizabeth's glass and put the ring on h er finger. "Forever," he said softly.

Her heart was racing and her hand trembled as John slipped the ring on her finger. "Forever," she echoed, her eyes shining. "This was unexpected. You've made me the happiest woman alive." She felt like she was babbling but she couldn't stop. "I love you so much. I want to be your wife, the mother of your children. I want to grow old with you." Elizabeth laughed self consciously. "Am I glowing? I feel like I'm glowing."

"You're always glowing to me, Elizabeth," John said with a smile, capturing her lips again with his.

The kiss was long and intense, leaving Elizabeth flushed and breathless. She had to put her glass down as she clung to John. If she hadn't been sitting down she surely would have fainted; her knees had gone all wobbly and she was lightheaded. "You certainly know how to sweep a girl off her feet." She nuzzled John's neck, kissing over it softly, pausing to nip lightly at his pulse point when she reached it. Holding out her left hand, she admired the way the ring looked on it.

"Mom told you about the ring, that means you must have asked her permission," Elizabeth smiled. "I'm so glad you did. This is perfect -- all of it," she indicated the balcony. "I can't wait to be Mrs. John Sheppard." Leaning over she kissed him again, putting her whole body into it.

John smiled, quite pleased with himself as he set down his glass. Elizabeth suddenly had him pinned to the ground. He looked up at her, grinning. "What's this all about?"

Elizabeth was so caught up in the moment she felt like she was flying. That's when she realized she had practically tackled John, guess those lessons from Teyla were sinking in. "Sweeping you off your feet?" she laughed. "Since I have you here..." Elizabeth grinned wickedly and dipped her head to skim the tip of of her tongue around his lips before kissing him passionately.

John immediately responded in more ways than one, his h ands sliding under her shirt as she kissed him. "Mmm..." he moaned, pressing his hips against her.

Elizabeth hummed into the kiss, her hips bearing down on his, rubbing against his growing erection. There were far too many clothes between them. John apparently had the same idea and Elizabeth moaned as his hands moved across her bare skin.

Every nerve in her body was alive as she began undoing the buttons of his shirt. A soft, satisfied sound passed her lips when her hands parted the silk. Her fingertips played through his chest hair and she bent down to tease her tongue around his nipple. She nipped at it playfully before moving to give the other the same treatment.

John moaned in pleasure at the feel of Elizabeth's mouth on him as he deftly unhooked her bra. She stopped her ministrations briefly as she took her shirt off. "So beautiful,â€ John said, reaching up to touch her and slide the straps of her bra down her shoulders. Once the offending garment was removed, he tossed it aside.

She arched into his hands, her eyes rolling back as his fingertips left tingling trails in their wake. A light ocean breeze caressed her skin, providing a stark contrast to John's heated touch. Somehow, she managed to get his pants undone and after a bit of fumbling and readjusting, they were gone. Hers followed and soon she and John were naked, lying nestled in the pillows, her hands sliding over his heated flesh, seeking out every little spot that made him moan or tremble.

He moaned her name into her mouth as she kissed him again, their tongues dancing. "God," he gasped out in pleasure. They explored one another hotly, hands and mouths everywhere until at last their bodies eagerly merged as they lost all sense of time and space. All John knew in this moment was Elizabeth. She surrounded him, filled his senses, his heart, his soul, his mind. She was everything to him now and forever and he did his best to show it.

Everything seemed to speed up and slow down all at once and then they were both gasping and shuddering, clinging to one another as their world shrunk to a universe of two. Finally, John half rolled over, half collapsed beside her, a huge, lopsided grin plastered on his face.

"Mmmm, that was good," Elizabeth sighed, nudging his nose with hers then kissed him softly. She moaned at the taste of her in his mouth and nuzzled his cheek as they broke. "You are an amazing lover. I love you," she said, snuggling contentedly against him.

"I love you too," he replied. "And you're not so bad yourself."

"Well, I'm glad you find me adequate, Mr. Sheppard," Elizabeth laughed softly.

"More than adequate, soon-to-be Mrs. Sheppard. You defy description," John said gallantly.

"I like the sound of that."

John nipped at a certain little spot behind her ear, smirking as her breath caught in a moan. "And I like the sound of  _that_."

It was a long time before they slept, tangled blissfully together, but when they did, it was deep and peaceful, secure in the fact they would always have each other.

Too early, John woke to sound of the door chime.

"What the hell?" he muttered as he glancing down at Elizabeth, who was still fast asleep. He chuckled and kissed her. Getting up, he made certain to cover her with a blanket before pulling his pants on and opening the door. He blinked dumbly at the person standing there for a full minute before finding his voice.

"Rodney, seriously, what the hell?"

The scientist peered around him. "Where's Elizabeth?"

"She's sleeping, Rodney. Now what could possibly be so important that you couldn't wait another hour?" John asked, glancing at his watch, frustrated to see that it was only 0700.

Instead of replying, Rodney nodded to someone off to the side and soon a cart was being brought into the room. The familiar scent of breakfast foods permeated John 's senses.

"Rodney..." he said, stunned.

Rodney shook his head. "Don't say a thing, John. This is from Ronon, Teyla, Carson, and I. We're happy for the two of you and you both deserve to be happy." Rodney paused, blushing. "Uh... gotta go!"

With that he was gone, leaving John staring after him in wonder.

Elizabeth blinked and looked around. She could have sworn she heard voices. Something glimmered in the sunlight and she looked down. A giddy smile lit up her face; she hadn't dreamed it after all. "John?" she called as she sat up. He was standing near the door, a surprised look on his face. "Everything all right?"

John turned around, shutting the door unconsciously and almost on his rear. He jumped back as Elizabeth giggled. "I was gonna offer you breakfast..." he said, walking over to the cart, smirking.

John's antics cracked her up. He had to be the most adorable man alive and he was all hers. That thought made her smile even brighter. " Breakfast, too?" She grabbed John's shirt and pulled it on, carelessly buttoning a couple of buttons to keep it closed. "You really thought of everything didn't you?" She walked over to him and slid her arms around his waist. "How did I get so lucky?" she asked dreamily as she leaned up to kiss him.

"I'm just as lucky, Elizabeth," he replied with a kiss of his own. "However, I can't take credit for breakfast. This was courtesy of our friends." He pushed the cart towards the table and the two sat down.

"Really? That was very thoughtful of them." Elizabeth grinned as John poured her a cup of coffee. "Guess they know about the proposal, huh?" She sipped at her coffee thoughtfully. "So, were you thinking long engagement or something sooner?"

"Oh, they knew. It's a little hard to keep secrets around here," John said with a wink as he chose a cheese Danish. "I was thinking of something sooner, but it's totally up to you since I know you'll want to find the righ t dress and all that. Not that you need anything special to make you beautiful since you already are."

She blushed at his compliment. "Thank you. You make me feel beautiful, more beautiful that I've ever felt before," she admitted almost shyly. "But sooner works for me. I have an idea for a dress and when I send a message to mom about this," she held up her hand to display the ring, "I can put her to working finding something for me. I'm certain she won't mind." Mentally she calculated just how long arrangements for should take. "How about we take two months to get everything together? Does that give you enough time?" she asked.

John smiled with a nod. "Sounds good," he replied. He knew she would want to have a wedding on Atlantis, but he also doubted her mother would be able to attend if that were the case, so they were likely going to be planning two.

Mother. John looked down at his plate as he thought about his own mother and what she would think about a ll this. He had never thought about that when he had married Nancy.

"Do you think we could get clearance for Mom to come here?" she asked. "Or should we just have all our friends come to Earth with us? I want Teyla to be my maid of honor and we should include Rodney and Ronon in some way." Her voice trailed off when she noticed the pained expression on John's face. "Are you okay? We could just elope if that's easier for you."

John lifted his head trying to sound cheerful, but he had a feeling it was coming out flat. "I'm happy either way as long as I get to marry you." He sighed after a minute of them looking at one another. "I'm sorry," he replied. "I was just thinking about my mom. She would have loved you and now with dad gone..."

Elizabeth got up and moved to John's side. She hugged him close, cradling his head against her chest. "I'm sorry I never got a chance to meet them. They must have been special people to raise a son as wonderful as you." Softly, she kissed the top of his head and stroked her fingers through his hair. "What about your brother? I know things aren't exactly great between you but he is family. Should we try to contact him?" she kept her tone neutral and supportive.

"My mom was amazing," John said, lifting his head and pulling her to sit on his lap. "We played games, she taught me how to ride a bike, even bake cookies. When I was old enough, my dad decided that I shouldn't be playing around so much and I should study hard and get into a good college. We never got along after that and when we found out my mom had cancer we tried for her, mostly. It was strained but she knew we tried. My dad was never the same again. When I joined the Air Force when I turned 18 he was pissed and pretty much wrote me off. David was pissed at me too and I hadn't heard from him until I was at my dad's wake. Of course, we had a matter of national security to deal with so I left. When I went back to talk to David, he had already decided he didn't want anything to do with me." John took a deep breath as Elizabeth ran her hands through his hair. He really hadn't planned to tell her all that, but once he started he couldn't stop. "Sorry," he muttered, holding her close.

Elizabeth settled into his lap and rested her forehead against his. Her heart broke for him as he spoke of his dad and brother. "Don't be sorry. It's part of your life and I want to share that life completely, good and bad." She held him tight. "I'm so sorry your brother chose to act that way; it's his loss. I know that doesn't lessen the hurt, but it's true." She planted a gentle kiss on his lips. "Your mother sounds like an amazing woman. I know she would be so proud of the man you've become. I owe her big time for giving me you."

John had to believe everything that Elizabeth said because she was the most honest person he had ever known. "Thank you," he whispered, returning the kiss. "That means the world to me. "

 


	14. Chapter 14

The days seemed to fly by. Once she and John were settled in their new quarters, most of Elizabeth's free time was taken up with wedding plans. John helped out, too, and it thrilled her that he was so eager to be a part of the process.

Her working hours were spent assembling and training her own team of linguists, anthropologists, and negotiators. There would be six people under her command who would comprise Atlantis' diplomatic core. It was a far cry from the responsibility she had before, but it was enough and she enjoyed the work.

They opted for a simple wedding, limiting the guest list to Elizabeth's mother and their friends. Richard Woolsey gave them an early wedding gift by arranging for Elizabeth's mother to have clearance to visit Atlantis for the ceremony.

They were one month into the planning and there was still much to be done. Elizabeth was confident that it would come together in time and refused to let what was going to be the happiest day of her life stress her out.

To blow off some steam, she had arranged for a bantos lesson with Teyla. It provided a good work out and it made her feel good to actually learn a method of self defense, especially one that didn't require bullets.

She parried a blow and spun out of the way. Teyla feinted left then swept low right, almost catching Elizabeth's leg. She dodged out of the way just in time.

"Good!" Teyla praised. "Your skills are definitely improving. A few weeks ago you would have fallen for that."

"Thanks. I had a good teacher." Elizabeth paused to catch her breath. She supposed it was all the nonstop work and wedding plans, but she was feeling quite fatigued. "Gimme a sec. I need some water and a breather."

Teyla inclined her head and lowered her bantos. "Of course. Are you unwell, Elizabeth?" she inquired, concerned. "You appear to be quite flushed."

"I'm okay. Just haven't gotten a lot of rest lately," Eliza beth said as she opened a bottle of water and took a sip. "And I think I might have eaten something that didn't agree with me. My stomach is in knots."

Teyla raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps it would be unwise to continue."

Elizabeth shook her head. "No, no I'm fine, really," she insisted as she sat down the water. Picking up her bantos, she turned back to Teyla. "Okay, ready," she said but as she raised the bantos, she suddenly felt lightheaded. Taking a step forward, she stumbled. The next thing she knew she was lying on the floor and Teyla was kneeling beside her calling her name.

"What?" she asked, groggily. "I'm just a little lightheaded."

Lorne appeared at her side. "We're getting you to the infirmary. Up you go," he said, lifting her before she could protest. He took off at a jog, Teyla following along behind him.

"It is fortunate you came by the gym when you did," she heard Teyla say to Lorne.

Elizabeth tried to protest that she would b e fine. The words, however, wouldn't come. Instead, pain exploded behind her eyes, followed by darkness.

When she came to, she was already in the infirmary. "John? Where's John?" she called frantically.

********

John was sitting in the mess hall with Rodney and Ronon as they finished up their lunch. The past month had him helping Elizabeth with wedding plans, leaving most of it to her, as well as training new members of the expedition and assigning crew quarters.

"So, what's a bachelor party?" Ronon asked as he leaned back in his chair, feet propped on another one.

Rodney was in the middle of explaining it to him and Ronon was grinning and nodding when John's earpiece beeped. "Colonel!" Carson exclaimed.

"Carson?" John said sitting up in his seat.

"Sorry, Colonel. You need to get down here now!"

"What's wrong?"

"It's Elizabeth."

Before either of his friends could say a word, John was out of his seat, leaving them gaping at one another. He heard his name the moment he stepped into the infirmary and rushed to her side, taking her hand. John's eyes were wide as he looked from her to Carson. "What's wrong with her?"

"Easy, lad," Carson said. "I'm not really sure. She's suffering from dehydration, anemia, and fatigue, all of which I'm treating her for." He nodded toward the IV in Elizabeth's arm. "Those are just symptoms but I've taken blood and run scans. When I know more, I'll tell you." Carson sighed tiredly. "If I had to hazard a guess though, I'd have to say this is related to how she came back to us."

Elizabeth gratefully took John's hand. She felt better with him there. "Is this body breaking down?" she asked. They had known this could be a possibility but things had been going so well.

"It's possible, lass. It's also possible you're just run down." Carson gave her an encouraging smile. "When I get the test results back, I'll know more."

Carson excused hi mself and Elizabeth looked up at John. "Sorry to worry you but I'm glad you're here."

John swallowed around the lump in his throat. He was going to be strong for her. He wasn't going to let her see how much this scared him. He couldn't lose her, not again. "Hey, don't apologize," John said, bending down to kiss her on the lips. His other hand brushed a lock of hair from her eyes. "You'll be out of here in no time, I'm sure of it. I wouldn't be anywhere else right now."

She smiled up at him, masking her pain, fear, and worry. "Yep, didn't plan on hanging around here. I've been going nonstop for the past few weeks. I should have known better." Elizabeth squeezed his hand. "The IV is helping."

It seemed like an eternity before Carson returned. "Well, I wish I had better news for you." The worry was evident in his voice. "There is definite cellular decay. I can start you on a treatment to slow down the process but I'll have to do some more research before I can determine if thereâ€™s a way to stop it altogether." Carson rubbed his eyes tiredly. "It's possible that gene therapy could reverse the process but I need to run some more tests on the tissue samples I took." He unhooked the IV. "I'm going to release you but you must report back here in the morning for another IV. You're off duty until further notice."

Elizabeth nodded. "I'll do my best to take it easy. Thank you, Carson." She slid off the bed. "Walk me home, handsome?" she asked John, attempting to sound more playful than she felt.

John was practically on autopilot as she stood. He took her hand, smiling distractedly and kissed her. The pair then headed on into the hall. John did not like the words â€˜cellular decayâ€™ and wondered how the hell they were supposed to stop this.

The silence hung heavily around them. Elizabeth struggled to find the words to reassure John. None came.

They had almost made it to their quarters when Rodney appeared from ar ound the corner. He stepped up to Elizabeth. "I just heard, are you all right? Do you need anything â€˜cause I'm pretty sure I can get whatever you need from the acquisition officer on duty. Just a little bribe is all it..." he trailed off glancing at John, who was glaring at him.

"Did I say bribe? No, that's not what I meant," Rodney chuckled nervously. "Anyway, seriously, are you all right?"

She couldn't help but smile. "I'm fine Rodney. There's nothing I need." At his crestfallen look, she continued. "If I think of anything I'll let you know. I promise."

"Good. Call me day or night if you need anything. I'm gonna talk with Carson and Jennifer. We'll put our heads together and fix this." Rodney hugged her awkwardly and then patted John on the shoulder. "Okay, see you both later. Remember, call!"

Elizabeth chuckled as they entered their quarters. "His heart is in the right place," she said as she shucked off her uniform jacket and tossed it to the si de. Reaching out, she took John's hand in hers. "We're going to get through this and we're going to beat it." She searched his eyes. "John, talk to me."

John looked at her then remembered he was supposed to be strong because Elizabeth couldn't see him fall apart. He smiled and hoped it was believable. "They'll figure this out," he told her, sounding more positive than he felt. "I know they will and we'll get married, have as many kids as you want, and grow old together," John told her, hugging her close. He closed his eyes tightly when she couldn't see him and tried desperately to quell the nausea that had settled in his stomach since Carson called him to the infirmary. He had hoped she had been taken there because she had been pregnant but he now wondered if that was going to be possible even if she did get better.

Elizabeth buried her head in the crook of his neck. She was scared, no, terrified. The preliminary data they had gathered from the machine that broug ht her back indicated that this kind of cellular breakdown could occur. The data also indicated once the process had begun, it couldn't be stopped. She swallowed hard and looked up at John. "As many kids as I want, huh? Think you can handle four or five little Sheppards with your penchant for getting into trouble and my attitude?" Elizabeth laughed, projecting a joy she didn't feel. There would be no children for them, not even a wedding, if Carson didn't find a cure fast. The worst part was she didn't know what to say or do for John. She knew he was torn up inside.

John kissed her softly in the lips, conveying all the love he felt for her. "Four or five little Sheppards is fine, but I have to say I'd like a little bit of Weir in them, too." He noticed she seemed a bit tired and cupped her cheek. "Why don't you get some rest?" he asked. "I'll go check with the mad scientists to see what we can do to help you."

"Okay," Elizabeth said with a smile. "A little rest m ight help me feel better. I have been pushing myself." Guilt gnawed at her. What if she had brought this on? She tried not to dwell on that, to instead concentrate on getting better.

She didn't.

By the end of the week she was back in the infirmary and Carson gave her little hope of leaving. Once she was settled into a private room, Carson came in and laid out the situation for her and John.

"All of Elizabeth's organs are systematically failing and so far we've found nothing to stop it," Carson said sadly. "I'm going to start you on kidney dialysis this afternoon. That should buy you a bit more time."

Elizabeth gripped John's hand tightly. "How long do I have, Carson?" she asked bravely.

Carson looked pained. He didn't want to say it aloud but Elizabeth needed to know. "Two, three weeks at most," he said gravely. "I'm sorry. I've failed you both."

John barely felt Elizabeth squeezing his hand because right now the only tightness he felt was in his chest. His heart felt as if it were being squeezed in a vise and he was having a bit of trouble breathing. "Don't blame yourself, Carson, you did everything you could," John replied trying to reassure his friend.

Johnâ€™s eyes went blank and his mouth turned downward. There had to be something the could do. His brow furrowed. â€œI have to get out of here,â€ he muttered, then hurried the room.

Elizabeth was puzzled. John disappeared before she could get a word out.

Carson watched him leave with frown on his face. "Elizabeth, love, he's going to keep his emotions locked in. He's trying to be strong for you. You need to convince him not to do that."

She sighed and turned to Carson. "I know. He has to be doing something or he doesn't feel like he's helping. John's never been good at sitting still." She understood that about him, but she also wanted him back here with her. "Carson, if it comes down to it, I don't want to be put on life support and I won't Ascend again," Elizabeth said quietly.

"Think about what you're saying, love," Carson warned.

"I have. I can't keep hurting him like this. I shouldn't have come back, I should have let him go." She bit her lip to keep from crying.

Carson reached out and took her hand. "It hurt him more not to have you around. Believe me, he wasn't the same man without you. If it hadn't been for your mother, there might have been nothing for you to come back to."

Elizabeth nodded. "I know and I love him, too, so much it hurts." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Carson, do you think you could speak to Richard about bringing my mother to Atlantis? She had clearance for the wedding and, well, that looks like it's not going to happen."

Carson squeezed her hand. "Of course, love. I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you. And help me think of a way to explain this to her. She doesn't know I'm virtually a clone," Elizabeth said.

"A clone..." C arson repeated. His eyes lit up. "Of course! In a sense ya are, at least the body is. Why didn't I think of it before?" He smiled at her. "I think we may be on to something and I need to go track John down." At her nod, Carson bustled excitedly from the room.

Elizabeth was glad they all wanted to help her but at this moment, she felt very much alone.

*********

John had just about made it to Rodney's lab when Carson came up behind him, trying to catch his breath.

"Carson?" John asked, eyes wide. "Is Elizabeth all right? Why didn't you use your radio?"

"Elizabeth is fine and I left the bloody thing in my office." John nodded, waiting for him to continue. "We need to find one of Michael's labs," Carson said.

"I know, that's why I'm going to see Rodney. He should be able to locate one for us."

Carson shook his head. "Aye, but it will take him a lot longer than the person I'm thinking of. I mean, they could work together of course."

"Kanaan," John replied.

Rodney poked his head out. "What's going on out here?"

John and Carson explained the situation to him and he was more than eager to help them.

*********

"May I come in?"

Elizabeth looked up surprised to see Richard Woolsey. "Yes, of course."

"How are you holding up?" he asked.

"I'm holding," she replied with a wan smile. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she related Carson's diagnosis to him.

Woolsey looked stricken. "I am so sorry to hear that, Elizabeth. Is there nothing that can be done?"

She sighed. "I don't know. John and Carson both tore out of here like a Wraith was on their tails. I'm guessing they have an idea."

Woolsey nodded. "That's encouraging. I want you to know I will do everything in my power to help. Is there anything you need or something I can do for you?"

"There is one thing," Elizabeth smile and related her request.

Woolsey returned her smile. "Of course, I' ll get on it right away. Hopefully we can have your mother here within forty-eight hours." He affected a slight bow. "I need to get back to work but don't hesitate to contact me if you need anything more."

"I won't and I appreciate all you've done," Elizabeth said feeling a bit better as she watched him go.

Three days later, with Kanaan's help, they had a location for one of Michael's labs.

As promised, Patricia Weir arrived in Atlantis. Elizabeth was grateful for her presence and found it most comforting. "Can I get you anything, dear?" her mother asked.

"I'd like to see, John." Elizabeth knew he was trying to find a way to help her. The plan to find Michael's lab seemed the best hope. The irony of that wasn't lost on her. However, she wanted John with her as much as possible; for all they knew, this was all the time they had left.

"I'm sure he'll be stopping by soon." Patricia studied her for a moment. "You don't believe it will work do you? T his plan of his?"

"I honestly don't know. I think it's our best shot but it's a long one. We've tempted fate so many times, I'd rather just have him here with me. At least this time I get to say good bye," she said softly. Elizabeth felt so weak, so tired. The dialysis left her spent and her muscles cramping so painfully it brought tears to her eyes.

"Mary Elizabeth Weir! Shame on you! You mustn't give up. I know you're hurting, I know you want to rest but the fight's not over." Patricia took her hand. "We don't have much but we have hope and faith and sometimes that's all you need."

Elizabeth gave her mom a crooked smile. "I hope in this case, it's enough."

"Well if that man you're engaged to has any say in it, it will be,â€ Patricia said confidently.

***********

John was heading to the infirmary to tell Elizabeth that he was going off world. He stopped at the door, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. The past few days had been ha rd on all of them. He was slowly losing Elizabeth all over again. At least when she was with the Asurans, she had had a chance to come back to him. John knew he shouldn't have fallen in love. He would have left Atlantis completely if it weren't for the friends he had made there. They were unwavering but he couldn't help feeling utterly alone. He angrily wiped a tear that had escaped and took another deep breath and entered her private room.

The door opened and Elizabeth's face lit up when she caught sight of John. "Hey! I'm glad you're here."

Patricia slipped a bookmark into the novel she was reading and got to her feet. "Now that you're here, son, I think I'll stretch my legs." She patted John's shoulder on the way out. "Besides, I'm sure you young people have plenty to say that requires some privacy." With a wink she was gone, leaving Elizabeth and John in silence.

"Hey, baby," John said, coming over to take her hand in his, placing a kiss on it. "How are you feeling?"

"Better now that you're here," Elizabeth replied with a smile. "Sit down, John we need to talk." She patted the bed beside her. Once John was seated, she reached up and touched her palm to his cheek. "You know I love you more than anything right?"

He nodded slowly, wondering where she was going with this. "You know I do, Elizabeth," he replied, leaning into her touch.

"Good." She paused. This was harder than she'd anticipated. "I want you to promise me something. If this doesn't work, if Michael's lab doesn't hold a cure, I want you to let me go." She knew this would hurt him but holding on to something that could never be would hurt him more. "I don't regret coming back, not for an instant. I've treasured every second of the time we've been given." Struggling to sit up, she leaned against him, too weak to wrap her arms around him. "I'm not going to be able to Ascend again. Thereâ€™s too much pain and damage to this body. It's sapping my stre ngth." She trembled as he embraced her fiercely. "If I die you have to move on. We were given a second chance. That's more than most people get but you can't spend your life chasing ghosts. I don't want that for you. Do you understand?â€

John said nothing as he tried to process what she was telling him to do. He couldn't do this, he couldn't let her just die, but if Carson couldn't find anything usable in Michael's lab, he knew she would. "I... understand," he said after a moment. He could see the confusion in her eyes as he masked the pain he was really feeling. The loss of the family and a life they never truly got to have was crashing down around him. John wasn't going to tell her that if she died, he would resign his commission and go back to Earth.

The world came crashing down. Elizabeth could see John building up a wall and closing himself off. "John, please don't shut down on me," she pleaded the tears flowing freely now. "I don't want to leave you-- I ju st may not have a choice. It hurts to know we may not have tomorrow, that our dreams may not come true." She buried her face in his chest. "You don't have to be strong for me. I know you're hurting, too." Elizabeth clung to him. "Please open up to me. Tell me what you're feeling. We may not get another chance."

John kissed the top of her head and stood as he began pacing the room. He was angry. Not at Elizabeth, never at Elizabeth. He was angry at the whole damn world! What did either of them do to deserve this? Why couldn't they just be happy and live long lives with children of their own?

She sat as still as a stone as he paced knowing John had to get this out of his system. It wasn't fair any of it and she understood his anger.

When he registered what Elizabeth requested, John laughed, but it seemed more manic than anything. She wanted him to tell her how he felt. After a few minutes he finally spoke up. He was quiet, calm, and he couldn't figure out if that was a good thing. "Elizabeth," John said, facing her and looking into her beautiful eyes. "I love you so very much. If you leave me, I don't know if I can come back from it," he finally admitted to her.

Elizabeth nodded. "C'mere," she ordered, unsurprised that he came to her readily. "John Sheppard, I can't stand the thought of you giving up. I know it will be difficult but if worse comes to worse, you must go on without me. Mom's going to need you and so will Teyla, Rodney, Ronon, and all our family here." She kissed him tenderly. "I know you have to go. I'm going to do everything in my power to be here waiting for you when you get back. I'm going to hold fast to our love and my faith that you will find a cure." Elizabeth vowed as they parted. "I love you, John Sheppard, and I will be with you no matter what. I promise."

"I love you too, Elizabeth," John said, kissing her passionately. "Always and forever." He hugged her tightly one last time then regretful ly pulled away. As he walked out the door, he turned to smile at her with a small wave.

Elizabeth smiled and returned his wave. As soon as he was out the door she collapsed, silent tears falling from her eyes.

Once outside, John leaned against wall, tears threatening to spill out. He dug the heels of his palms in his eyes, taking a deep breath. He didn't see Patricia Weir standing beside him because he was too lost in his grief. Suddenly he was enveloped in familiar yet different arms. Lifting his head, he realized why. "Patricia," he said.

"Elizabeth is strong, she will get through this," Patricia told him. "Now go find the cure. I know you can do this!"

John stood tall, nodding. "I will, thank you," he replied, kissing her cheek.

"Be safe, John."

With a nod, he was gone.


	15. Chapter 15

 

Patricia took a deep breath and went back into her daughter's room and Elizabeth tried to regain her composure when she heard the door open. Before she knew it, her mother's arms were around her and Patricia was holding her like she did when Elizabeth was a child, rocking her gently as she wept. "That's it darling, get it all out. I know it seems dark but you will get through this," Patricia said soothingly.

"Oh mom, I'm not crying for me. I'm crying for John. I've made peace with my circumstances. I'm ready to face whatever comes." Elizabeth inhaled sharply. "John-- I don't think he can handle losing me again."

"Then we won't let that happen," her mother said. "I don't want to lose you either. I only just got you back. You're strong. You're a fighter. You survived being a captive for all those months and you will survive this. I have to believe it."

Elizabeth smiled in spite of herself. "Between you and John, I believe it too."

"Good," her mother said. "Now you rest. I'll be right here, praying for you and praying for John."

Elizabeth nodded. "Sounds like a plan. I think I'll say a little prayer, too." She laid back and closed her eyes, pushing aside the pain and the sorrow, saying a prayer of protection for the man she loved. Hopefully, he would return to her soon.

************

John, Rodney, Ronon, Carson, Kanaan, and Lorne and his team arrived on M4X-653. Hopefully the lab was where Kanaan remembered it to be. Kanaan looked around and then pointed to the north. "It is in that direction," he told them, "about a twenty minute walk." John remained silent as they headed to the lab. Rodney and Ronon only exchanged worried glances. They would find a cure if it was the last thing any of them did.

*************

Meanwhile on Atlantis, Teyla stopped by to visit her friend and brought Torren with her. Torren loved his adopted aunt and was even starting to learn her name.

She knocked on the door before entering as Torren shouted, "Lizbeth!"

Elizabeth was half asleep when she heard her name and, with a grin, she roused herself.

"Are we intruding?" Teyla inquired.

"Oh, no, not at all. Come on in. Mom stepped out to get something to eat and I could use the company."

Torren held out his arms. "Lizbeth!" he crowed, demanding to be held.

She sat up enough so that she was able, with Teyla's help, to take him into her lap. "Well hello, Mr. Torren, how are you today?"

"Fine," the boy replied. He studied the tubes and machines surrounding the bed. "Lizabeth sick?" he asked seriously.

"Yes. I'm not feeling well, but I'll be okay." It was easy enough to say.

Torren hugged her close and kissed her cheek. "Torren make it better. No sick."

Elizabeth hugged him back. "Thank you, sweetheart. I feel better already." She smiled at Teyla who was looking on, every bit the proud mother. "He's such a loving ch ild, you must be very proud of him."

Teyla nodded and sat down in a chair near the bed. "I am indeed. He is very much like his father and my father, thinking first of others."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Elizabeth said with a grin.

"I like to think that Torren embodies the best of both his parents, though when he has a temper fit, Kanaan says he is very much my child."

Elizabeth laughed. "I can't imagine this precious one ever having a temper fit." Torren flashed her a charming grin.

"Believe me he has a temper," Teyla said, "and he is not fond of sleep. I have found it to be a most challenging combination."

They chatted on for some time, Torren interrupting every now and again, demanding attention as only a toddler can. Elizabeth knew Teyla must be as worried for Kanaan as she was for John. The mission was a dangerous one, Teyla's presence here attested to that. John wouldn't allow her to accompany them because Kanaan's presence wa s required and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if something should happen and Torren would be left without both his parents. Neither of them brought up the mission or John's team until Teyla gathered up Torren in her arms and prepared to leave.

"Thank you for the company. I enjoyed the visit."

"It was our pleasure," Teyla said as Torren snuggled into her arms. "We will come back soon."

"I would like that. And,Teyla, I really appreciate Kanaan's help."

"Think nothing of it. He is happy to do it. You and John are counted among our family," Teyla said. "Rest now; we will return soon."

Elizabeth nodded and as the door closed behind them, she drifted into a dreamless sleep.

************

The team from Atlantis had been searching the lab for almost an hour. Carson found some good information that could possibly help him with a cure for Elizabeth, but he wouldnâ€™t know for sure until it was all downloaded and taken back to Atla ntis. He was just about to say something about it when a few words flashed across the screen that caught his eye. He was just lucky that his time with Michael had also given him time to learn the language of the Wraith. "Colonel," he said, tapping his earpiece, "I think I may have found it!"

John had been pacing back and forth the whole time. He didn't really know what he would have been looking for so he allowed Carson and Rodney to search the computer systems. Suddenly he heard the excited Scottish accent in his ear. "A cure? A treatment? What did you find?" John asked eagerly.

"A treatment that might lead to a cure I think," Carson glanced down to verify the data and that's when the saw something he didn't like. "Oh crap!"

"Carson?" John rushed to his friend.

"Colonel, we have to get out of here. This place is booby trapped! Some sort of countdown has commenced."

"Like hell it has,â€ Rodney shouted. â€œI disabled all the booby traps in the system before we came in here."

"Well you missed one," Carson said peevishly. "Look!"

Rodney's eyes followed Carson's to the display. "Oh crap! Sheppard we have to get out of here. NOW!" Rodney grabbed his equipment and Carson followed suit as they headed for the door.

"Right, I'm on it," John replied, grabbing Ronon's arm and shoving him toward the corridor leading to the surface. He was about to call out to Lorne when the building started rumbling and lights flickered. Something struck John on his head and the thing on his mind as he lost consciousness was Elizabeth.

"Of course this happened! Shit like this always happens! The man must have a bulls-eye on the top of his head or something because buildings keep falling on him! I mean, what the hell?"

John stirred at Rodney's loud voice and winced as he tried to open his eyes. "Easy, Colonel," Carson said, steadying his friend. "Don't get up so fast, you have a concussion."

He was going to nod, but the pain in his head told him it probably wouldn't be a good idea. "What happened?"

"You decided to hit your head on falling debris from the ceiling," Rodney answered flippantly.

"McKay," Ronon said menacingly, taking a step towards him.

Rodney held out his hand. "I get it, Conan, I get it!"

"Where are we?"

Carson pursed his lips. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Um... proposing to Elizabeth, why?"

Rodney's face blanched at that. "Shit," he muttered.

"What is it? What's wrong? Is Elizabeth...? Oh my God, was she here too?" John asked, sitting up too fast.

Carson caught him and eased him back to the floor. "John, relax, Elizabeth is all right."

Suddenly John began to remember everything and before they could stop him he was standing up, albeit wobbly, and he looking around. Things were a bit blurry, but he he could see well enough.

"Carson, why the he ll are we still here then? You said you found something, right?" The doctor nodded. "Well then lets get back to Atlantis!"

"Uh... we can't," Rodney said.

"What?"

Ronon was tired of Rodney and his uncanny way of babbling like a brook as humans say. "We're trapped. The entrance has collapsed. There's about ten tons of rock between us and the surface."

John merely stared at them. He stood there for quite a while, too, and wouldn't say a word to anyone. He felt nauseated and his head was killing him but he didn't care. By the time they got out of there, Elizabeth would be dead. He wasn't really sure how long he'd been standing there when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Carson.

"John, please come sit down before you fall over. You need to rest."

John turned to face Carson. It was too much for John, all the pain, all the confusion, all the worry, everything he'd felt from the day they had left Elizabeth on Asuras flooded through him . It was overwhelming.

He snapped, jerking his gun out of its holster. John knew he wouldn't shoot anyone, hell, the safety was still on, but he was desperate and he pointed it anyway. "Stay the fuck away from me, Carson!" he exploded. "We're trapped in this place and Elizabeth is dying.  _Again! And it's all my fault, I left her behind! I left her behind, again!"_

He knew he should shut up, should stop pacing and ranting but he couldnâ€™t. â€œI thought this was going to work. I thought that we were actually going to have a happy ending, but now... Look at where we are! Fucking trapped with Elizabeth's cure and no fucking way to get back to Atlantis. I heard you talking. There's no way we can even be beamed out of here. If we ever do get out, Elizabeth is going to be dead and so will I."

He'd failed her again and this time she couldn't save herself. John dropped the gun on the ground and fell to his knees, hands covering his face as he wept.

**************

Elizabeth slept for quite some time. Suddenly, a searing pain in her head jolted her to consciousness. She tried to sit up, her hands clawing at her chest as she struggled to breathe. Her mother's face swam into view, then that of Dr. Jennifer Keller. "John?" she gasped. "Where's John?"

"Easy dear, John's on a mission remember?" her mother said.

Elizabeth took a few deep breaths and it all came back. "He's in trouble." It was a gut feeling, one she had felt many times before and each time she felt it, something had been wrong.

"Elizabeth, I gave you something to help take the edge off," Jennifer said. "What's your pain level?"

Elizabeth forced herself to focus on the young doctor. "It's about the same, everything hurts." She blinked. "There are spots in my field of vision and everything is darker." A frown curved her lips as she once again tried to sit up. "Doctor, I assure you the restraints aren't necessary."

Jennifer and Patricia exchanged concerned looks. "There are no restraints." Keller quickly ran a scanner over her. "You've had a mild stroke. The paralysis may only be temporary." The look on Jennifer's face was one of pure worry. She turned to the nurse. "I want you to administer Coumadin immediately and start her on a regular regime of blood thinners. Let's see if we can't alleviate the clotting and minimize the damage."

The nurse nodded ad prepared a syringe and Keller turned her attention back to her patient.

"Once you're stable enough I want to run some more tests. I'm going to check with the Control Room and see if anyone has received and update from Colonel Sheppard." Jennifer's calm nearly evaporated as she left the room. Sheppard better hurry; Elizabeth's time was running out.

It took them close to three hours but Caldwell and his crew managed, with help via radio from Rodney, to rig the Asgard transporters on the Daedalus in a way that would allow t hem to beam out the debris without collapsing the tunnels. As soon as the way was clear they beamed John and the others directly to the planet's Gate. Carson was the first to step through the wormhole with Ronon and an injured John Sheppard immediately behind him. Rodney, Lorne, and his men brought up the rear.

Richard sighed and rubbed his temples at the sight. Sheppard was a bloody mess.

Before Ronon or anyone could stop him, John deftly slipped from the Satedan's hands and ran out of the control room. Ronon ran after him, telling the medics standing by he would handle it.

As the Gate shut down, Richard nodded. "As you were, gentleman," he ordered.

John ran through the halls, dodging everyone in his way. His head was still hurting pretty badly and the blurriness had yet to go away but he didn't care. He had to see her. He needed to see her.

Carson and Rodney were already standing outside Elizabeth's room as were Teyla, Patricia, and Jennifer . The two physicians were in deep discussion over the data that had been found.

John stepped around them and entered Elizabeth's room. He didn't even bother to close the door, just made a beeline for her bedside and stood there, chest heaving, and watching Elizabeth. She looked even worse than before, although still breathtakingly beautiful. He unconsciously wiped the blood away that had dripped down his forehead.

Elizabeth wasn't sure if the drugs or her physical state was causing her wooziness. Everything was out of focus, a series of random images. She thought she heard her mother, then Teyla, and Jennifer. Brief snatches of conversation reached her ears.

She figured she was dreaming when she heard a familiar brogue. Carson was with John wasn't he? Forcing her eyes open she turned, catching a glimpse of John, battered and bleeding.

He saw her eyes flutter open and he smiled. â€œWe got it! We got the data!â€ John was about to say something whe n the world tilted and he was falling to the floor.

Elizabeth cried out as John collapsed. Weakly she struggled to get up, her left side still paralyzed. Suddenly, the room was swarming with activity.

Her mother placed a hand on her shoulder. "Easy, dear, stay put. The mission was a success; Dr. Beckett and Dr. Keller are analyzing the data to sort out the treatment."

Elizabeth shook her head and tried again to get up. "John-- he's here-- he's hurt," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Ronon picked up John and carried him to a nearby bed. Jennifer nodded to Carson, indicating she would check on him. "What was he hit with?" she asked Ronon, checking John's pupil dilation. They were unequal and she didn't like that at all.

"Ceiling," Ronon replied, knowing what she was thinking by her expression. "Yeah, I know, again," he deadpanned.

"Colonel Sheppard, can you hear me? John?" He blinked his eyes open. "Good. Can you tell me what day of the week it is?"

"Thursday."

"Good. What about the name of the guy standing next me."

"Conan," John said with a grin.

Jennifer chuckled. "Close enough. I'm going to take you back to get a CT scan, all right?"

"Yeah... but Elizabeth?"

She patted his arm. "She's fine, okay? Letâ€™s take care of you first and then we'll bring you to see her. Besides, you scared the shit out of her with all that blood on your face."

"Mmmk," John managed to reply before everything went dark again.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

 

Twenty minutes later, they were rolling John's bed in next to Elizabeth's. He reached over to take her hand when she asked about him. "I'm right here," he said, tears in his eyes when he actually looked at her. Carson had told everyone to leave them be for awhile. Besides, he and Jennifer had a lot of work to do.

A warm hand closed over hers and she opened her eyes."John, you're back. Missed you," Elizabeth said thickly. Her mouth didn't want to work right and she could barely see him. Squinting, she examined him. The large bandage on his head was hard to miss. "What happened? Are you badly hurt?"

John swallowed around the lump in his throat. "Oh, you know me! I can't let you get all the love around here," he said with a smile. The smile faded immediately. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm trying to be strong for you, but I'm scared, Elizabeth. I'm scared that I might lose you."

"I'm scared, too," she admitted, bringing his hand to her lips so she could kiss the back of it. "Having you here makes it less scary though." Elizabeth smiled, trying to reassure him. She was tired, so tired. "I love you," she murmured before losing consciousness again.

************

"Okay, everyone out of the way," Carson said. "You'll have to let go of her hand now, Colonel. We've got the treatment prepped and we're ready to administer it. We're going to have to take her to the Operating Room." They wheeled her away to begin the bone marrow injections needed to jump start the gene therapy process. It was a tedious and excruciating procedure and many hours passed before Elizabeth was returned to her room.

"We've done all we can," Carson informed John. "Only time will tell if it was enough."

John just laid there watching Elizabeth sleep. He was tired and his head was killing him but he was afraid that if he fell asleep, she would wake up and he wouldn't be able to talk to her. He wasn't sure how long he t ried to hold out before exhaustion got the better of him.

Several hours later, Carson came in to check on John and found Elizabeth stirring in her bed. He immediately went to her side as she opened her eyes and smiled. "Elizabeth, can you hear me, love?"

Elizabeth blinked and forced her eyes to focus. "Carson? Is that you?"

"Aye, love. It is. How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy."

Carson chuckled. "That's good actually. I'm happy to say the treatments are working. We have a couple more of the intensive therapies to administer but then you can switch off to a daily shot. You're likely to be groggy until the major ones are over, though."

"I can live with that," she said with grin. She was alive and that was all that mattered. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed another bed in the room. "John! How is he?"

"I was just about to check on him, as well. He hasn't left your side," Carson said with a smile. "Let me wake him, lass. I know he wil l be happy to see you awake and alert." The doctor turned to the adjacent bed, addressing its occupant. "Colonel."

John stirred as Carson shook him gently and opened his eyes. "I don't remember asking for a wake up call," he mumbled. When he was lightly shaken again he pried open an eye, â€œCarson, is that you?"

"Well, we got one question out of the way," he said with a chuckle. "What day is it?" he asked, checking John's pupil dilation and contraction. It was much improved.

"Thursday... unless I've been asleep for awhile and it's Friday..."

Carson shook his head. "Aye, it's Friday. How's the pain?"

"As long as I don't move my head too much it's relatively manageable."

"Good. Now that that's over with, I have some good news for you, John," he said, stepping from between the couple. "Elizabeth has a few more intensive treatments to go through, but everything looks promising."

"Now that is worth waking up for." John smiled at Elizabeth, reaching for her hand. "I love you," he said.

"I love you, too." She smiled and just looked at him for a few minutes. "I knew you'd save me. How many is that I owe you now?" she asked with a light laugh.

"Hey, I'm not keeping score," John replied.

"I'm going to leave you two alone for now," Carson said. "I want you both to rest. Colonel, you need to be as still as possible. You need a bit more healing but if you take it easy, I'll let you out of here in the morning."

"Understood," John replied. "Rest sounds good to me."

"All right then, I'll leave you to it. Elizabeth, keep an eye on him for me," Carson said with a wink.

"Will do," she called as the door closed behind him.

"That looks like a nasty bump on your head. How are you feeling?"

"As long as I don't move too much, I'm fine," John told her. "That doesn't really matter, though. You're alive and I hope still interested in mar rying me," he teased with a wink.

Carefully she got up, bringing her IV with her as she moved over to John's bed. She slid in beside him and gave his shoulder a playful slap. "Of course I still want to marry you. You're not getting off the hook that easy pal." Smirking, she kissed him softly then curled up beside him. "I'm so glad you're here."

John smiled, snuggling closer to her but stopping when pain flared in his head. He hadn't realized his eyes were closed until he felt a hand on his face. He blinked them open, seeing the concerned look on her face. "I'm good, just moved too fast."

"Then slow down, fly-boy. I'm not going anywhere," Elizabeth said as she caressed his cheek gently. "Be still, I'll handle the snuggling." She eased herself back down beside him, careful not to jostle him too much.

The next few days brought a flurry of activity interspersed with moments of calm. The treatments were long and painful, leaving Elizabeth spent and achy. John was always there for her, though, and the thought of the upcoming wedding helped her ignore the pain. Her mother had remained in Atlantis to help with the wedding arrangements and Elizabeth was grateful for her. Without her help, the wedding would have been postponed indefinitely.

She was released from the infirmary a week before the wedding. Every day, a bit more of her strength returned and Elizabeth was truly thankful that everything had worked out as it had.

John seemed to be feeling better, too, and Elizabeth smiled as he entered their quarters. "Only three more days before the big event. You're not getting cold feet, are you?" she teased as he came and sat down on the couch beside her.

John hugged her close as he sat. "Never! I think I'm the happiest man in this city right now," he said, kissing her sweetly.

"Just in the city, not in this galaxy?" Elizabeth's eyebrow quirked. "Must be losing my touch." She laid back on the couch pulling him with her. "I think you would be hard pressed to find anyone, anywhere as happy as I am right now." She ran her fingers through his already tousled hair. "I can't wait to become Dr. Elizabeth Sheppard." She smiled as she pulled him down for a deep, prolonged kiss.

"Mmmm..." John mumbled through the kiss. "I meant galaxy. You gonna punish me for my mistake?" he asked as he slowly kissed down her neck.

"Hmmm, that depends on your next move." Elizabeth tilted her head to give him better access. "I might go easy on you... this time," she purred as she slid her leg seductively along his.

John grinned wickedly as he continued to kiss her, his hand sliding down, down, down... "How's that?" he asked as his hand slipped down her pants.

She arched into his hand, her own clawing at the hem of his black t-shirt. "You're off to a good start," Elizabeth gasped as she eagerly spread her legs wider to give him more room to work. "A very, very good start," she murmur ed as she scraped her nails along his spine.

"These clothes," John muttered, kissing her lips again, "are so overrated. Let me help you get rid of them." They made quick work of the removal and soon John was rubbing himself against her entrance as he took a nipple into his mouth. "I love you," he told her breathlessly.

"Love you too," she breathed, pressing up against his mouth. The way he rolled her nipple around with his tongue made her crazy. Working her hand between them, she grasped his erection, moaning at how hard he was. Slowly she began to stroke him, rubbing the head against her clit as she did so. "God, baby, you feel so good."

"I want to be inside you, Elizabeth," he moaned. She smiled up at him, guiding him inside her. He felt her tight around him as he began to move.

She gasped, her eyes fluttering closed as they found that perfect rhythm known only to long lovers and soul mates. Her world shrank to contain the two of them alone in timel ess perfection.

It was only later, after John had moved them to the bed for round two, that reality began to intrude once more. Elizabeth glanced at the clock as they lay in a tangle of limbs and groaned. "Though I would much rather spend the afternoon here with you, I have to go." Elizabeth stole another kiss and sat up. "I've got the final fitting on my wedding gown in a few moments. Mom and Teyla will be waiting for me." Teyla had found a seamstress on New Athos who could make a few minor alterations to the gown Patricia had brought from Earth. John attempted a pout but she merely kissed him on the lips, laughing as she rolled out of bed. "Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time for that during the honeymoon," she called over her shoulder as she stepped into the bathroom for a quick shower.

He sighed contentedly and placed his hands behind his head as he thought about what their future would hold and was still lying in bed when she emerged, toweling her hair dr y. It didn't escape her notice that his eyes never left her as she dressed. It made her heart flutter that he found her so captivating. Planting one final kiss on his lips, she headed toward the door. "Have a good afternoon. I'll see you tonight."

"See ya," he replied. "Have fun with the girls."

She had only gone a few steps down the hall before she ran into Teyla. "Elizabeth, I was worried you had forgotten your appointment. Esta is waiting," Teyla said. As with all things, Teyla took her role as maid of honor very seriously.

"I know and I'm sorry. I got uh -- distracted," Elizabeth replied trying not to look guilty.

Teyla smothered a grin. "Ah... well, tell your distraction he needs to behave until after the wedding. We do not wish to delay the proceeding because he cannot keep his hands to himself."

Elizabeth blushed. "I, uh, started it actually."

"Oh, I see." This time Teyla did not hold back her laughter. "Perhaps we should se parate the two of you until after the ceremony."

"That won't be necessary, I promise," Elizabeth grinned.

"Good," Teyla said. "After the fitting, I wish to discuss this Bachelorette Party. It is a most unusual custom and as I am in charge of it, I wish to do it properly. I asked Lt. Cadman to advise me but I found her suggestions to be... odd."

"Oh Lord! I can only imagine what Cadman suggested." Elizabeth shook her head. "I think in this case, it would be proper for the bride to help you make the preparations."

"That would ease my mind greatly. I, for one, have no desire to shoot jello, even if I saw the point on wasting a bullet in such a manner, nor do I wish to make dirty toast," Teyla said with a slight frown.

Elizabeth bit back a chuckle. "Yes, I think it best if you and I handle the planning. My mother might be there and I wouldn't want to embarrass her."

***********

John didn't get up right away, he was in far too mellow a mood. Finally, he rolled out of bed, washed, dressed, and then headed to the mess hall to get some coffee. He saw Ronon, Rodney, and Lorne in deep discussion in the far corner of the room.

"What's up guys?" he asked, causing Rodney to jump to his feet in surprise.

"Sheppard! Where the hell have you been?"

Ronon looked up at him. "Where else is he when we can't find him?"

"McKay, just get used to it," Lorne added.

"All right, guys, enough," John said with a laugh as he sat down. "So, should I be scared of the bachelor party you guys are planning?"

"Nah, Rodney's scared enough for you," Ronon said with an unapologetic mischievous smile.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

 

The next few days were a blur. They were so busy with wedding preparations that Elizabeth and John barely saw one another. The dress was fitted, the flowers arrived on schedule, and the cooks had put the finishing touches on the cake. Teyla and Patricia fussed over her incessantly and Elizabeth found it amusing that Patricia seemed to have adopted the Athosian as a second daughter.

Patricia also felt the need to drop a few not-so-subtle hints about her desire for grandchildren and she was rarely seen without Torren in her arms.

"Are you sure you won't join us, Mom?" Elizabeth asked as Teyla arrived to escort her to the bachelorette party.

Patricia took a smiling Torren from his mother's arms. "No, dear. This little man and I have big plans this evening. I need all the practice I can get. John told me you hope to start a family right away and I want to be prepared."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "As if you don't have enough experience already."

"More doesn't hurt. Besides, you young folks will have more fun without me," Patricia said. "Come along, Torren. We'll go for a walk before your bedtime." She bid them good bye and sauntered down the hall with Torren in her arms.

"He is enjoying the attention from his new Nana very much," Teyla said.

"She's got him calling her Nana?" Elizabeth was incredulous.

"She does indeed," Teyla grinned. "I welcome the opportunity for Torren to experience such a relationship."

Elizabeth nodded. Both Kanaan and Teyla had no living parents and that made her very sad for them both.

Teyla, sensing her mood, touched her arm. "Do not weep for what you cannot change, my friend. It is simply a part of life." Teyla smiled. "Now is a time for celebration and that is what we should do, sooner rather than later, I might add. I am afraid of leaving Lt. Cadman unattended for long."

Elizabeth nodded. "Good point, let's go!"

Teyla's fears were not unfounded. When they entered the rec room, Laura was standing in the middle of it waving around a DVD. "Come on people this is a party! We should be watching  _this _instead of _Sleepless in Seattle!_  Mrs. Weir's not going to be here anyway and a little porn never hurt anyone!"__

Amelia Banks laughed and tried to snatch the DVD from Laura. "You are utterly classless, you know that, right?"

"Proudly so!" Laura retorted. She lunged for Amelia but stopped when she caught sight of Teyla and Elizabeth. "Hey, Doc! Congratulations. I was just trying to talk the girls into watching a little adult entertainment."

"I think I'll pass on that." Elizabeth said with a laugh.

Laura looked crestfallen. "Oh, okay but we're still playing some drinking games."

"Speaking of which -- why don't you take this and chill," Jennifer Keller said, shoving a glass of what Elizabeth suspected was highly spiked punch into Laura's hand. "It certainl y takes the edge off."

A few more women drifted in and Teyla smiled. "Good, everyone is here! The party shall commence."

"It's 'let's get this party started'," Laura corrected.

Teyla raised an eyebrow. "Indeed. And for the record, I shall be keeping my eye on you tonight, Lieutenant."

Cadman had the good sense to look worried. She took a big gulp of punch and asked. "So, who wants to watch _Sleepless in Seattle_?"

*****

The minute John entered the mess hall, there was a loud cheer and he was being clapped on the back as he made his through to a dry erase board with the words 'PIN THE PENIS IN THE WOMAN' written on it in bold letters.

"What the hell?" he asked, laughing. "Who's idea was this?"

"That would be me, Colonel," Lorne replied, grinning as he handed John a beer.

"Evan, it's my bachelor party, damn it, call me John!"

**********

The party carried on until late in the night. They did watch the m ovie Elizabeth chose, but Laura managed to get almost everyone tipsy with her drinking games.

She had also presented Elizabeth with some of the tackiest lingerie imaginable. "That's for the honeymoon."

Teyla raised an eyebrow. "The garment seems incomplete and there are holes in it."

"That's the point," Laura snickered. "Easy access."

Teyla shrugged. "Is it not easier to copulate completely naked?"

Elizabeth suspected Teyla was just jerking Laura's chain. That suspicion was confirmed when Teyla shot her a subtle wink.

Raucous laughter filled the room. Laura had convinced the inebriated women to watch the porn movie she brought along.

Teyla seemed fascinated with the film. "Why would they choose that particular location to engage in such an activity? And would it not be much easier if they..."

Elizabeth took hold of Teyla's arm and leaned in to whisper. "What say we get out of here and let the kids have their fun?"

Teyla nodded and grinned conspiratorially. "I doubt they will notice our absence." She grabbed a bottle of Athosian wine on her way out. "Where to? You are the guest of honor after all."

Elizabeth was flushed and the halls felt stuffy. "Somewhere outside. I need air." Teyla held out a hand to steady her as she stumbled. "I don't remember this hallway being slanted."

"It is not." Teyla gave her a bemused look. "I believe the punch is to blame."

"Perhaps you're right." Elizabeth hugged the wall. "Okay," she said after a few deep breaths. "Let's go. Something I wanna see."

Teyla followed along dutifully and soon, they were stepping out on the the walkway atop Atlantis' central spire.

"Are you certain this is wise?" Teyla asked earnestly.

"Oh, I'm not going near the edge. Just wanted to see the City from above. It's been a long time," Elizabeth said, sliding down against the wall and taking a seat. "Not quite the same as seeing her from space but breathtaking none-the-less."

Teyla sat down cross legged beside her. "From space? You saw such a thing when you were Ascended?"

"Yes. I saw many things. Sights so amazing they caused my very soul to tremble in awe and you know what?"

Teyla shook her head. "What?"

"I wouldn't trade even a moment of the life I have now to see any of them again," Elizabeth said. "I've never been happier."

"Then you are truly blessed and deservedly so," Teyla smiled.

"Thank you. John and I are meant to be together."

"You do provide a perfect balance for one another," Teyla agreed.

Elizabeth took the bottle from Teyla's hand and held it aloft. "To balance. Let's hope it's never lost in my marriage and certainly not up here!" She giggled and took a long swig before passing the bottle to Teyla.

"To balance!" Teyla echoed before taking a deep drink.

***********

John watched as the ping pong ball bounced across the table. It landed in the last cup of beer with splash and the men cheered.

There was a tap on his shoulder and John turned, stumbling a bit. He just might be drunk. "What? Rodney?"

"Um, we thought you'd enjoy a show," he said, snickering.

It was then John noticed the stripper pole being set up in the corner of the mess hall. "What the hell?"

Soon the Pussycat Dolls music filtered through the speakers. _Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me..._

John's jaw dropped when he saw Lorne and Ronon dancing in, wearing bikinis.

"Here, John," Rodney said, handing him dollar bills. "Enjoy it while you can!"

He chuckled and took the bills. "Oh, Ronon!"

"Got the camera?" someone said.

"IF ONE PICTURE IS TAKEN, THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS DEAD!" Ronon boomed.

********

"Elizabeth!"

She felt someone nudge her shoulder. "Huh?"

"We must hurry! It seems we succumbed to the drink."

She blinked and tried to stand up. A stron g hand gripped her forearm. "Teyla?" She stared dumbly. Her head was pounding. "I think I'm hung over."

"I am not surprised. You are also getting married in a few hours." Teyla reminded her with a laugh. "Come we must hurry."

"Oh crap! I'm not going to be late for my own wedding am I?"

"No, but we must not linger." Teyla helped her back inside.

"What were we doing out on the central spire?" Elizabeth asked.

"I am not certain. You wished to go out there for some air, I believe."

"Oh. Is it exceptionally bright in here to you?" Elizabeth asked, shielding her eyes.

"No, but I did not drink as much as you either. Come, I will give you some redleaf tea. It is an old Athosian remedy for what ails you," Teyla said as she helped Elizabeth down the hall to Mrs. Weir's quarters where her mother and the wedding dress were waiting.

 


	18. Chapter 18

 

After some tea and a shower, Elizabeth felt much better and soon she was dressed in her gown. Patrica was fussing with her hair, helping arrange it just right when Teyla reappeared in her bridesmaid's gown.

"You look lovely, Elizabeth."

"Thanks, so do you," Elizabeth grinned.

"There, now all set," her mother said, fastening the last hairpin in place. "Let's go, we don't want to keep that handsome fellow waiting do we?"

"No, we don't."

A familiar voice greeted them when they stepped out into the hall. "'Bout time you hens finished fluffing your feathers," Jack O'Neill drawled. He said hello to Teyla and Patricia then kissed Elizabeth on the cheek. "You look lovely, Elizabeth. I hope that man of yours appreciates what he's getting."

"He does I assure you," she replied. "Thank you so much for agreeing to give me away."

"It's an honor and a privilege." Jack took her arm. "Sam says 'hi' by the way. She sends her regards.  _The Hammond_  was just too far away to swing a trip by Atlantis."

"I totally understand. Give her my best," Elizabeth said.

"I will. So, are we all ready?" Jack inquired. When they all said yes, Jack nodded. "All right then, let's go get this young lady hitched."

Elizabeth's stomach fluttered with excitement. She couldn't wait to walk down that aisle. Hopefully, she wouldn't be too nervous to get the vows out.

***********

John was dressed and ready to go, surprisingly enough, with time to spare. After the craziness that went on the night before, he was a bit shocked at that.

The chime rang and he opened the door as he adjusted his tie. When Ronon came in he asked, "Where's McKay?"

"He's not with you?" John asked, turning around. "I haven't seen him all morning."

"He's not getting cold feet is he?"

John grinned. "No, that usually falls to the bride or groom," he replied, reaching up to tap his earpiece. "Ro dney, you alive over there?" He heard something mumbled that bore an uncanny reference to a few choice words. "Rodney, I need my best man. If he's not here in twenty minutes, I'm sending the big scary groomsman after him."

"Make that nineteen minutes and fifty five seconds," Ronon growled, loud enough for Rodney to hear.

"I'm up!" Rodney exclaimed.

"Okay, but I'm at least sending Carson to you with something that will wake you up."

Exactly twenty minutes later, Carson appeared with Rodney in tow. "How are you feeling there?" John asked, patting his friend on the shoulder.

Rodney glared at him. "This is your fault, you know! Getting married at 1100 hours after a night of chaos."

"I've seen you thrive on less sleep than that," John reminded him.

"That was in a crisis and didn't involve that witches brew Lorne was serving," Rodney said, pushing John to the door. "Time for you to get married!"

John felt his stomach flop as he headed to the Gate Room. He saw the minister standing at the bottom of the stairs and went to join him. The only thing missing was his bride.

***********

Jennifer was waiting just outside the Gate Room with their flowers. "You're right on time," she said as she handed Elizabeth her bouquet. "John just took his place by the minister."

Lorne offered his arm to Patricia. "Ma'am, if you'll come with me, I'll escort you to your seat."

Patricia kissed her daughter on the cheek. "You look beautiful darling. I know you'll be happy with him," she said before allowing Lorne to lead her away.

When Chuck saw Lorne and Patricia enter the Gate Room, he started the processional music.

"Okay, Big Guy, we're next," Jennifer said, taking hold of Ronon's arm.

"Take it easy with my girl," Rodney grumbled.

"I got this McKay, stop whining," Ronon grinned deviously. "You look great," he said to Elizabeth as he passed.

When he and Jennifer reac hed the top of the stairs, Teyla grabbed Rodney's arm. "It is time," she said and led him away.

"You look amazing," Rodney squeaked over his shoulder. "It's not too late to back out though... totally justifiable."

Elizabeth shook her head.

As soon as Rodney and Teyla reached their places, Chuck switched over to the traditional Earth tune, 'Here Comes the Bride.'

"All right kiddo, let's do this thing," Jack said and they stepped into the Gate Room.

Elizabeth could barely breathe, she was so nervous. The minute her eyes came to rest on John, all that passed. She only had eyes for him and her mind scarcely registered the others present.

The walk down the aisle was a blur; one moment they were at the top of the stairs, the next they were standing in front of John and the minister who was asking who was giving her away.

"Her mother and I do," Jack said. "But only because she told us that's what she wanted." That brought a light twitter of laughter from the assembly. "Good luck, Elizabeth. You two will be great together," Jack whispered as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Take care of her, son," he said as he handed her off to John.

Tears glistened in her eyes as she took John's hand. He looked so handsome and so happy and in this instant she knew this was right where she belonged.

John nodded to Jack. "Definitely, sir," he replied as he took her hand. She was absolutely stunning and John had to keep telling himself that this was really happening. He was finally going to be married to the most amazing woman he had ever known.

The minister smiled at the couple and began. "Dearly beloved..."

********

Rodney felt a nudge from Ronon behind him as he wiped a tear from his eye. "What?" he whispered to the Satedan without turning around.

John glared at the two as the minister was about to say the most important lines of the ceremony. "May I now present to all in the city of Atla ntis, Colonel and Mrs. John Sheppard. You may kiss your bride, Sir," he said with a wink.

"My pleasure," John said as pulled Elizabeth towards him. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Elizabeth tilted her face up toward his. He met her lips unerringly, kissing her passionately in front of the whole of Atlantis.

She laughed as they parted and made their exit, showers of flower petals falling on them as they passed through the crowd. They hurried from the Gate Room to the reception set up in the mess hall. Soon, their friends begin to fill the room and they were showered with well wishes and hugs.

When it came time to cut the cake, Rodney yelled for Elizabeth to smash it into John's face but she didn't. John looked good enough to eat in his dress blues and she didn't want to spoil the dashing sight.

Soon, John was pulling her out in to the area cleared for dancing and they began their first dance as husband and wife. Elizabeth rested her head on John 's shoulder and smiled as the sound of Ryan Adams filled the room. "This song has always made me think of you," she said softly, savoring the feel of swaying to the music with his body pressed so tightly against hers.

John wasn't familiar with the song and it was a bit hard to concentrate on it with his wife in his arms. His wife. He smiled at that, kissing her softly on the lips.

They danced together, song after song, until  _All the Single Ladies_  began to play. "I think that's my cue," she said, kissing John and going to retrieve her bouquet. Those who the song were for headed out to the dance floor, dancing around Elizabeth as they waited for her to throw the flowers.

Laura tried to shove Amelia up to the front of the group and Amelia laughed and shoved back.

Rodney reached for Jennifer not go out, but she did anyway. "Hey, what a minute, Jen! You're not single!" he called after her.

"How else can I dance with you if you end up catching the garter, Rodney?" she asked with a wink.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and threw the bouquet. When she opened her eyes, Jennifer was triumphantly holding the prize aloft.

Smiling, Elizabeth made her way over to John. "Be sure to bulls-eye Rodney with the garter," she said with a devious wink.

John bent down to remove the garter and a chorus of cheers and catcalls ensued.

Ronon pushed Rodney out onto the dance floor. "C'mon Buddy, front and center," he said, pushing Rodney to the front of the group.

John made sure he knew where Rodney was, turned his back towards the guys on the floor, and threw the garter over his shoulder.

Laughter erupted and he turned back around to see everyone had stepped back and Rodney was holding the garter, face beet red.

"Nice catch, Rodney!" John replied with a grin as he and Jennifer began to dance.

John stepped back over to Elizabeth and took her hand in his, kissing it. "Is this wedding e verything you've dreamed of?"

"It is everything I dreamed of and so much more," Elizabeth said with a genuine smile. "None of my dreams included a groom quite as dashing as you. What about you? Is this everything you hoped it would be?" Elizabeth inquired.

"Awww," John said bumping into her playfully. "You're making me blush!" Then, he grew more serious. "This is more than I had hoped for, Elizabeth. I have wanted this for so long and I want you to know that I will always love you and be there for you."

Tears pooled in her eyes again. "And I will always love you and be there for you." She pulled him into her arms and held him tight. "I have no doubt that you love me. Look at everything we've been through to get here." Elizabeth looked up at him. "We've been through heaven and hell and I would do it all again, just to have this moment with you."

"I would too, Elizabeth," he whispered in her ear. Suddenly, a face loomed in front of his. "Rodney!"

"What? This party is for you two and all you can do is ogle each other!"

The scientist felt a tug on his pants and looked down to see Torren. The little boy had the annoyed look of his mother on his face. "Wadney!"

"You're needed elsewhere, 'Wadney'," John said, laughing.

Elizabeth laughed as Rodney allowed Torren to lead him away. It was quite a sight, Torren firmly clasping Rodney's hand, Rodney stooping and walking slowly to keep up with the boy.

"I, for one, think we've earned the right to ogle, but we probably should mingle and tell our friends how much we appreciate all this," Elizabeth said. "Not to mention, my mother is dying to have a dance with her new son-in-law."

"I married a pretty smart girl," John said, kissing her on the lips. Grinning, he smacked her bottom and went to seek out Patricia Weir where she was sitting and talking with Richard.

"Excuse me," he said to with a smile, extending a hand to Patricia. "May I have this dance."

Patricia beamed. "Of course!" she replied, standing up.

"You really shouldn't look this beautiful," John told her. "It's not fair to the bride."

"Such a charmer you are, John Sheppard," she said with a light blush.

"That's what they tell me," he replied with his patented boyish charm.

Patricia kissed his cheek. "You truly are a wonderful man. You and Elizabeth deserve each other. I am very proud to call you my son."

Elizabeth watched as John led her mother out onto the dance floor. It was wonderful to see how genuinely fond of one another the two most important people in her life were.

"C'mon, Elizabeth." Jack O'Neill smirked and took her hand. "Can't have the lady of the hour standing around. Sure, you look pretty doing it, but a dance won't hurt."

"Why, General, I'd be delighted," she said and allowed herself to be led out onto the dance floor.

They danced in silence for a while. "You know, I had a feeling about you two way back in Antarctica," Jack said.

Her eyebrow quirked. "Oh, really? I'll have you know I wasn't even looking then and it was quite sometime before I ever thought of John in that way."

Jack laughed. "That's BS Lizzie and you know it. Plus, I got a sneaking suspicion a certain pretty doctor is the reason that young man took the assignment."

Elizabeth shook her head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you do and believe me, I know. Why do you think I can't stay retired?" Jack asked with a rakish grin. "I got a woman who can't stay put either."

"Samantha is very lucky to have you," Elizabeth said.

Jack snorted. "You got that backwards, kiddo. It's me that's lucky. What are the odds of me finding someone that pretty and smart who'll put up with my crap? I'm sure Sam's calculated them and they're pretty damned slim." He shook his head. "Besides, you think I'd chase across two galaxies for just any one?"

"No, I sup pose you wouldn't."

"Damn right! And neither would he." Jack jerked his chin in John's direction.

Elizabeth chuckled. "I suppose you have a point."

"I always do."

***********

Ronon was sitting, eating cake as he watched Torren smash his own slice as Teyla held him.

The big man couldn't suppress a grin at that and then looked around for the boy's father. Kanaan had been a bit distant since they went to Michael's lab and he wasn't spending much time with Teyla or their son.

It was kind of pissing him off.

"Ronon?" Teyla asked, looking up from Torren. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," he replied.

Teyla wasn't so certain, but she let it go.

"Unca, John!" Torren shouted when he came over. "Up, peas!"

"You want peas?"

"No!" he pouted. "Peas, up!"

"Oh, you mean please!"

Torren nodded excitedly. "Yes, peas!"

"Let me clean you off first," Teyla told him. "You are a mess and you do not want to get your uncle dirty, do you?"

"Nooooo," he said with a serious expression on his face as Teyla cleaned him off.

Once he was clean, John scooped him up and took him out on the dance floor, nodding to Chuck.

Soon the Chicken Dance was playing and John began to teach it to Torren.

************

Elizabeth danced with a few more people then made her way over to the refreshment table for some punch. She sat down next to Teyla and joined in the laughter as John danced with Torren. "They are quite the sight aren't they?" she asked as the two mugged for the crowd.

"Yes, they are. Torren is very fond of his Uncle John."

Elizabeth glanced around. "John and I can watch him for a while if you want to dance with Kanaan."

Teyla gave her a small sad smile. "Regretfully, Kanaan was unable to attend. His presence was required on New Athos."

Ronon made a harsh sound. "Sorry wrong pipe," he said looking down at his cake.

"Oh, I'm sorr y he couldn't make it but I'm very glad you agreed to be my maid of honor," Elizabeth said, patting Teyla's hand.

"It is all right. Kanaan does not enjoy large gatherings, anyway," Teyla smiled. "I am happy to do this for you. You are my family."

Ronon cleared his throat. "Uh, Teyla, would you dance with me?" he asked with uncharacteristic bashfulness. "Seems a shame for you to miss out just because Kanaan's not here."

Teyla's eyes lit up. "I would love to, Ronon." She glanced at Elizabeth.

"Don't worry, John and I will look after Torren. Go have fun!"

Teyla took Ronon's hand and smiled. "It has been quite some time since I danced like this."

"You'll do fine," Ronon assured her as he guided her out onto the dance floor.

The way he looked at Teyla seemed somehow familiar and Elizabeth did a double take. "Oh my goodness," she said under her breath and wondered just how long the Satedan had harbored feelings for Teyla.

After a whi le, John carried Torren over to where Elizabeth was sitting. He sat down, clearly exhausted by the bundle of hyper activity.

"Hi!" the little boy said to her, grinning. "Me and Unca John dance!"

"I saw!" Elizabeth said, taking the boy into her lap. "You danced very well, both of you." She grinned at her husband. Her husband! That made her heart skip a beat.

They managed to keep Torren occupied while his mother danced. When Teyla returned to the table, she looked more alive than Elizabeth had seen in a long time.

"Now, Wonon, dance!" Torren said, holding his hands out to the big man.

"Okay buddy, but I'm not as light on my feet as your mama," Ronon said, gamely following the boy to the dance floor to start a fairly credible version of the Chicken Dance.

Elizabeth leaned over and kissed John on the cheek. "How much longer do you think we have to stay before we can make a polite exit?" she asked with a sly smile. "We have a nice, secluded mou ntain cabin just waiting for us and I have to admit, I'm running out of steam."

John pulled her onto his lap. "I'm pretty much in charge since Woolsey's passed out over there from too much of Lorne's spiked punch. I think we can leave whenever we want. Besides, I think they can handle it," he said, gesturing to their friends.

Elizabeth snuggled readily into John's lap. "Then I say let's make a gracious exit. I'm ready to spend some quiet time with you."

â€œSounds good,â€ John said as he helped her to her feet."I hope you're not too tired," he added with a wink.

Her lips curved into a sultry smirk. "In answer to your inquiry, Mr. Sheppard, not too tired. Never too tired for that."

John grinned, kissing her on the lips. They said a quick goodbye to her mom and most of their friends and they were out of the mess hall. The newlyweds laughed as they ran down the hall to their quarters holding hands. Elizabeth loved how John could make her feel so yo ung and carefree.

John stopped them in front of the doors, sweeping Elizabeth off her feet and into his arms, carrying her over the threshold, causing Elizabeth to let out a happy squeak.

Once they were inside, she kissed him deeply and ran her fingers through his hair. "This is by far the happiest day of my life. I love you so very much."

He chuckled. She was so adorable. "I couldn't agree more," John replied, returning the kiss.

The couple quickly changed, despite wanting to remained unclothed, and headed to the Gate Room where their luggage already awaited them.

"Well it's not exactly a sunset we're steppi ng into, but I'm willing if you are," John grinned.

Everyone was there to bid them farewell (it seems they all knew when the two had disappeared) and they laughed as streamers and bubbles flew all around them. The Gate was already activated, the blue from the wormhole reflecting on them as they turned to wave to everyone. Of course, John complied when they told him to kiss her.

"Haven't you figured out by now, where you go I go. I don't scare that easily," Elizabeth said with a smile.

"After you, Mrs. Sheppard," John said.

"No, together," Elizabeth replied, taking his hand and leading him through the Gate to the beginning of their new life together.

 


End file.
